My boss is such an enormous douche, if he was on fire I wouldn't piss on him to put him out. Wow, I wonder how his two girls would feel if they heard somebody talking about their father like that?
And then I started to feel badly for them. I imagined a scenario where we were all in a public place and I didn't know they were his daughters, and I used his name which grabbed their attention, and then they heard me say that I wouldn't urinate on their father if he was on fire because I dislike him so intensely.
And I felt like a bad person for having such feelings. Doesn't change the douchness of my boss. He is still an enormous douche. But I'd like to be somebody who believes in the goodness of people. I'd like to be the kind of somebody who believes that everyone should be pissed on if they're on fire.
I'm struggling with humanizing people I would rather classify as completely bad. It would be easier for me if I could just see people as being all bad. "There is absolutely no redeeming quality about this person!" But I'm starting to see more big-picture stuff recently, and it's pissing me off. My wife's ex-husband recently had a thought about doing something nice for his nephew. He chose to express himself in a way which was completely and totally assholish, but still, the fact that he had a thought which was considerate at it's core makes it impossible for me to honestly say he is a completely evil beast. It's easier when he can just be a completely evil beast.
I'm not sure why that is. Maybe something about my actual color-blindness that makes the world easier for me to palate if it's black and white. Nah, that's not quite right. Maybe it's that I don't want to feel anything for my bad guys. Nah, that's not quite right either, cuz Magneto wanted to help mutant-kind just as much as Professor X, which made him not completely evil and I really love that character. Maybe it's that I don't feel like anybody else is on my side in thinking that my wife's ex-husband is breaking the law by not talking to my wife about how they parent their joint-custody children, and it feels like a major... crime. And it's noticed but going unpunished. And that's a complete disappointment on so many levels with so many people. And if I say he's not completely evil, then even I have given up the hopes that this legal arrangement is anything more than a thinly-veiled lie. And the attorneys won't do anything. And the ex-husband won't do anything. And the judge won't do anything. And the boys get hurt. And my wife gets hurt. And the bad guy wins. It's like the cops have been called, they have been shown the law-breaking actions and they say, "yeah, he's breaking the law. There's nothing we can do about that. You really should have done something different in the past." Yeah, that feels more right.
I'm disappointed in our legal system. It doesn't work to provide protection from those who need protecting. It doesn't work to provide justice where there is no justice. It is a joke. It is a lie.
I'm disappointed in the people who work inside the legal system. The lawyers who perpetuate this lie. Who promote this lie of Justice.
I'm disappointed in the parent who doesn't think about his children. Who lies to them. Who does not respect them or encourage them to grow. Who is harmful to them and his ex-wife.
I'm disappointed in the mother who supports this father and these actions.
I'm disappointed in all of you.
You make me wish The Punisher were a real person and really brought justice where it was needed.
He'd fuck you all up real good.
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