Last night...

No TV while eating dinner.
No video games during or after dinner. The boys had already had their screen time.
I had things on my mind-- Fartknocker was finding out that his boys wanted to stay with us.
But if anyone else had that on their mind, it wasn't evident.
We talked. We played. We laughed with each other.
My wife put it really well: when the week starts, the Countdown starts.
It's a countdown to when the boys are leaving, and we all feel it.
The week feels so short to all of us, but we try not to think about it. Even though we do think about it.
But this week, there is no Countdown.
The boys are staying with us through Sunday because they are allowed to stay with us for the Mother's Day weekend.
So we get them for 10 days.
And I can feel everybody relax.
They're so much different from normal.
They're taking life so much less seriously.
They're having fun.
They're smiling.
They're enjoying... everything.
They're living.
And I'll bet that I was doing the same thing, but I was so focused on the change in my family that I didn't really pay attention to what was going on with me. But I know that I was enjoying them, and they were enjoying me.
My 9 year old asked me when I wake up.
I told him 5:45. His smile faded.
He said, "If I get up at 6:30, would I still see you?"
"We would run into each other at that time, yes," I said with a smile, understanding what he was asking about.
He smiled and ran off to his room.

This morning he was up before I left.
He told me about the new Halo game we got for the XBox. I didn't care. I liked seeing him at that unreal time of day. And I liked seeing him smile at me and enjoy that I was talking with him.

I sure do love my family.
And beer.
But mostly my family.

Today He Finds Out

Our lawyer recently talked to Buttmunch's lawyer. It was three days ago. It was a Friday.
Our lawyer told Buttmunch's lawyer that our 13 year old wants to live with us full time.
Buttmunch's lawyer said that Buttmunch was a "laid-back kind of guy" and he was sure that "if it's what's best for the boys, he wouldn't have a problem with that [arrangement]."
Our lawyer told us that she believes Buttmunch's lawyer was, essentially, saying that we would be going to court because Buttmunch wouldn't believe that it was in the boys' best interest to stay with us full time.
Even though one of them has said so. Legally.
Buttmunch's lawyer said that Buttmunch would be told sometime on Monday.
Today is that Monday.

I'm a little nervous about what's going to happen today. Or on Sunday when we see Buttmunch again and give the boys back to him.

Dad

Yesterday, my 13 year old told me that sometimes he forgot that I wasn't his real father.
"I just feel like I'm yours," he said.
I told him that I referred to him as my own, even though I struggled at times with making sure people had all the information-- that he and his brother weren't my biological children, however, I felt as if they were-- but recently I'd stopped caring how much information other people had. I told him that I loved him very much and I didn't think I would feel differently about he or his brother if they had actually come out of me.
He patted my head (that's something he does) and said, "I love you so much. You're my best friend and family."
I just don't have any more words. Maybe later.