Tomorrow We Go To Court

I'm indescribably anxious and trying to forget it.
Stuff it.
Get rid of it.
Keep going.
At work, I keep forcing myself to focus.
It's not easy.
Our lawyer is happy about the deposition that she got from Dick.
And she says that we should know that the court usually goes with what the guardian ad litem report says.
Which means our 14-year-old stays with us for a week, while our 10-year-old doesn't change at all. No change in custodial parent. Continued therapy.
That sounds really horrible to me.
I know it could be worse.
And I also know that it hasn't happened yet.
And speculating doesn't do any good.
And our lawyer might put me on the stand.
I'm trying to see it as a new experience. Something I haven't done before or had the opportunity to do before, so... it's good to experience things?
I try to take deep breaths.
I try to focus on the Right Now.
It's really, really hard.
I can't even find words.
Just wish it was over.
Wish it never was.