Lists

LOVE:

my wife
my marriage
my boys
diet Mountain Dew Code Red
Labatt Blue draft
Eminem
sleeping late
waking up late on a weekend day without an alarm clock
the smell of cold
my huge surround sound
my huge television
my rad Civic
married sex

prime rib from Outback Steak House

sushi

soft cookies that have frosting on them

green bean casserole that gets served a lot at Thanksgiving

George Carlin

The Cosby Show

Jon Stewart

freedom

love

HATE:

divorce

exes

jobs

having no money

mother-in-laws

lawyers

taxes

going to the bathroom

fights

war

politicians

liars

fear

closed-minded people

nose pimples

ingrown hair

loose hair

traffic

bosses

insurance companies

being interrupted

paper cuts

vomiting

beets

death metal

gas pains

having to go to the bathroom but not feeling comfortable to go to the bathroom (like in a public place)

Business language ("partner with")

GADGETS:

iPod

cell phone/smart phone

PDA/Palm Pilot

pager/beeper

laptop

wifi

laser pointer

Flobee

Roomba

calculator wrist watch

Friendster/Myspace/Facebook/Twitter/Apps

NEWS:

Japanese tsunami

Government budget stalls

Tea Party=Will of the People

Football/Basketball/Baseball/Hockey anyone?

CHARACTERS:

Censored Dad-- when he curses, he just mouths the words and doesn't say them

Political Spin Doctor

Radio DJ

Boss conducting a meeting where gadgets continue to make it impossible to understand the meeting topics (television picture shuts off, and Xeroxed copies are too dark to read; sound is distorted with white noise; presenter is too shy to be heard, even with a microphone; the presenter has an accent that is unintelligible)

Public Speaker who is bleeding from his nose/head and can't stop but continues with the meeting

terrorist

No Sense Of Humor Man

World's Greatest Lover... although this has been done quite a bit, so it would have to be a new spin

Rocker

Athlete

Janitor

The guy at your office who has a ridiculous hypothetical situation for every new piece of information that is given out during meetings (Jacob)