Monday, April 23, 2012

I Must Be An Asshole

My iPod plays the theme to the TV show "The A-Team".

I'm shot back to a time about 20 years ago when I had been hired for an intense, summer program where actors built sets and performed in 5 of 7 shows to be performed over the course of 3 months.  It was a fantastic time, and two other guys and I would sing these delicious harmonies to the theme of "The A-Team" and "T.J. Hooker".  It was a really great memory.

So I went online and found one of the guys on Facebook.  Sent him a message, letting him know that I was thinking pleasantly about him and hoped he was doing well.  I sent him a friend request.

I then found the other dude on Facebook.  Sent him a message, saying about the same thing, and wishing him well.  Sent him a friend request.  Then I checked out his pictures. 

One of his pictures is with a man who used to be a great friend of mine... until he admitted to me that he had slept with one of my college girlfriends after I had broken up with her and she went to his apartment immediately and told him that I had broken up with her and she wanted to sleep with him to hurt me.  There's so much about that sentence that bothers me, but what I'm left with is a friend who slept with a recent ex of mine to help her hurt me.  That's not somebody I want to hold dear anymore.  So I stopped corresponding with him.  The last time I saw him was at his wedding, which I was in.  He asked me to be involved in a 3-way with himself and his wife.  I declined.  He told me about my ex-girlfriend and said that it had been gnawing at him ever since it had happened years before. 

I thought about what my two A-Team friends would think about me not communicating with them, or my Ex-Girlfriend Fucker.  I imagine that they must think me to be an asshole for just disappearing.  And I'm the jerk for not telling my Ex-Girlfriend Fucker that I was angry with him.  I'm the asshole. 

And I remember people sending me friend requests on Facebook that I ignored.  I didn't want to be friends with those people, because they weren't my friends.  They had tried to hurt me.  They hadn't apologized.  I didn't want them as friends.

Then I thought about me being that person who had hurt people. 
I hate thinking that was me.
I guess I must be an asshole.
Fuck.

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