A 14-year-old Atlanta, Georgia student was shot by a fellow middle school student today. The victim was shot in the head, and was not dead at the time of the story.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57566972/atlanta-school-shooting-14-year-old-shot-in-head/
I'm really glad that all these mentally unbalanced people now have access to guns-- all these mentally unbalanced middle shoolers-- because now that they have guns, they can effectively shoot people, telling us exactly who needs mental health care who wasn't getting it before. The person who shoots up school-- THAT'S the person we need to rush mental health care to. Because, as we all know, mental health care is like a pill, and once you take it, you're cured. Of everything. And you won't ever want to shoot up a school again. Think about how awful it would be if there WEREN'T guns around! How would we be able to tell who needs mental health care? We wouldn't! We would have thought everyone was mentally fine! And we would have been outraged at anyone or anyting who tried to give away health care for any reason! And we would support businesses who wanted to prevent their employees from getting national health care coverage! But thankfully, because all the crazy 14-year-olds can get guns, they finally have a way to tell us how crazy they are so that we can pay attention now. And who would have imagined that 14-year-olds would need mental health care? I sure wouldn't, so it's a really great thing that they have guns with which to shoot school children. This is the best way to tell us just how sick they are.
Keep it up, 14-year-olds! We'll get you mental health coverage soon. Hope you can afford the copays. Hey, if you can't, just shoot some more. We're certainly not going to touch the guns or take them away, by any means, because Guns Don't Kill People, Crazy People Kill People! So just keep shooting until you get the medical attention you need.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The Same Story
I had this allegorical story brewing in my head about a board of decision makers who couldn’t get anything done because one of the members continually decided to not move the motions of the board forward because of his pathological need for power. So the health of the community suffered because of this one member who continued to prevent decisions from being made, and when members of the board tried to move forward, even after including him, he caused a legal stink that stopped things even more. But I decided not to write this story, because I’m so tired of it. I feel like it’s all I’ve written about for five years.
This stupidity in court is that story.
The stupidity over gun control is that story.
The stupidity over the debt ceiling and fiscal cliff is that story.
The stupidity over health care reform is that story.
I feel like smart phones are just a way to push advertisements to you more personally than ever before. And advertisements are simply lies packaged as refreshment.
“Your life will be better if you give us your money.” That’s all an ad is.
And then you allow yourself to succumb to the ad. And, ultimately, is your life better because you bought the latest piece of plastic, the newest taco, that car presented on the melodious voice of Alec Baldwin? No. Your life isn’t better. It’s got more stuff in it. And that isn’t better. It just means you need a bigger closet.
Facebook is one, huge ad. And it’s stupid. Here:
Facebook is stupid.
There. I’ve said it. I’ve started a path now.
Sleep is elusive. Friendships are elusive. Meaningful work is elusive.
What I have right now is love.
Love my wife.
Love my children.
Love my mother.
Love my step-father.
And that’s enough to keep me going. My legs are weak and wobbly, but that love keeps me going back into the ring for round 85? 86? It should have stopped at 15, but I’m still in the goddam fight. When can the fight be over?
But sometimes I’m plagued by my memories. Like icy electrical spikes at the base of my skull, I get these vivid images of moments in my life. And the images have emotional resonance, leaving me with a feeling of embarrassment, sadness, loss, fear, failure. His face is so close to mine, I can’t even see it, but I know there is a flesh-colored blur directly in front of me, and what is clearest to me is the garage door behind him… fear. You stayed with her for 3 years, and you knew you never loved her, but you walked down that road because you were afraid of being lonely and alone, and now you’re left with the memory of just how little you value yourself and how little you respect yourself… failure and embarrassment. If you had been a good son, he would have cared enough to see you perform, call you, not called you names, not sat on you… sadness and failure. And even this feels like the same story I’ve been telling for the past five years. The stupidity of the few stopping the flow of the many.
I try to be like the river and flow. Putting a stick in the river simply allows the water to flow around the stick. Putting a brick in the river does the same. You must build a dam to stop the flow, and even a dam allows the river to rise and grow.
I’m not the river. And I’m not flowing.
I tried to write a song for my mother for Christmas. I couldn’t do it. I was too fatigued. Too out of practice. Too ordinary. Too talentless. It’s all gone away from me.
I tried to write a song for my wife for Christmas. I couldn’t finish it. Same reasons.
And the non-completion of these gifts makes me feel inferior, ordinary, weak. Failure. “If you really loved them, you would have given them the gift of your voice and song. They wouldn’t have gotten that from anywhere else. And now, because of your lack of talent, they won’t get it even from you. How disappointing you are.”
It would be nice to win the lottery on Wednesday.
But even that won’t happen.
And that, too, is the same story.
This stupidity in court is that story.
The stupidity over gun control is that story.
The stupidity over the debt ceiling and fiscal cliff is that story.
The stupidity over health care reform is that story.
I feel like smart phones are just a way to push advertisements to you more personally than ever before. And advertisements are simply lies packaged as refreshment.
“Your life will be better if you give us your money.” That’s all an ad is.
And then you allow yourself to succumb to the ad. And, ultimately, is your life better because you bought the latest piece of plastic, the newest taco, that car presented on the melodious voice of Alec Baldwin? No. Your life isn’t better. It’s got more stuff in it. And that isn’t better. It just means you need a bigger closet.
Facebook is one, huge ad. And it’s stupid. Here:
Facebook is stupid.
There. I’ve said it. I’ve started a path now.
Sleep is elusive. Friendships are elusive. Meaningful work is elusive.
What I have right now is love.
Love my wife.
Love my children.
Love my mother.
Love my step-father.
And that’s enough to keep me going. My legs are weak and wobbly, but that love keeps me going back into the ring for round 85? 86? It should have stopped at 15, but I’m still in the goddam fight. When can the fight be over?
But sometimes I’m plagued by my memories. Like icy electrical spikes at the base of my skull, I get these vivid images of moments in my life. And the images have emotional resonance, leaving me with a feeling of embarrassment, sadness, loss, fear, failure. His face is so close to mine, I can’t even see it, but I know there is a flesh-colored blur directly in front of me, and what is clearest to me is the garage door behind him… fear. You stayed with her for 3 years, and you knew you never loved her, but you walked down that road because you were afraid of being lonely and alone, and now you’re left with the memory of just how little you value yourself and how little you respect yourself… failure and embarrassment. If you had been a good son, he would have cared enough to see you perform, call you, not called you names, not sat on you… sadness and failure. And even this feels like the same story I’ve been telling for the past five years. The stupidity of the few stopping the flow of the many.
I try to be like the river and flow. Putting a stick in the river simply allows the water to flow around the stick. Putting a brick in the river does the same. You must build a dam to stop the flow, and even a dam allows the river to rise and grow.
I’m not the river. And I’m not flowing.
I tried to write a song for my mother for Christmas. I couldn’t do it. I was too fatigued. Too out of practice. Too ordinary. Too talentless. It’s all gone away from me.
I tried to write a song for my wife for Christmas. I couldn’t finish it. Same reasons.
And the non-completion of these gifts makes me feel inferior, ordinary, weak. Failure. “If you really loved them, you would have given them the gift of your voice and song. They wouldn’t have gotten that from anywhere else. And now, because of your lack of talent, they won’t get it even from you. How disappointing you are.”
It would be nice to win the lottery on Wednesday.
But even that won’t happen.
And that, too, is the same story.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
WITH WHOM is our 12-year-old going to be sick...
Our 12-year-old gets dropped off at our house on Friday. He has a pretty bad cold with a fever. His father drops him off and leaves without a word as to when this illness started or what kind of care has been taken so far. He leaves before my wife is even aware that there’s a sickness.
On Monday, our 12-year-old is still sick, so he’s taken to the clinic, where he’s diagnosed with the flu. He’s prescribed two kinds of medications, as well as bed-rest and lots of fluids. There’s not much one can do for the flu except ride it out. My wife’s job allows her to stay at home to care for our 12-year-old.
My wife talks with me on Monday, and asks if there’s any way that I could take off work to care for our 12-year-old. I have a full-time state job that allows for sick time and paid leave. Her job is part-time, and when she leaves, she doesn’t get paid. With us spending over $200 unexpectedly on medical bills and drugs for our sick child, and with me not getting the promotion I was told I would get, and with me stopping the secondary jobs I had so that I could spend more time with my family during this difficult time over custody battles, we’re running shorter on cash than we have in a very long time. And we could really use her income. And, while my job is trying to over-work me more than normal, dangling my promotion in front of me, I feel certain that I will be able to ask for some time off to care for our 12-year-old so that my wife can go to work and earn the money we need.
I just received a text from my wife, saying that our 12-year-old’s father is making an issue out of my staying with our 12-year-old while he’s sick, and if she isn’t able to stay with him, he believes that our 12-year-old should stay with his father. My wife suggested that maybe she should just stay with our 12-year-old. And I support her decision to do whatever she needs or wants to do. Anything she needs or wants to do, I’m behind it.
I mention all of this because it makes me mad all over again. Our boys’ father NEVER thinks about the health and well-being of his children. NEVER. Not Once. If he did, there would be no reason to think that pulling a sick boy away from his home, his bed, his familiar surroundings, and his drugs would be in his best interest. Please justify how uprooting a sick child at home with his step-father for 5 hours will benefit the sick child. You cannot suggest that our 12-year-old would be benefitted in any way by this. What’s more, this Sick Sack Of Shit father has done precisely this to move the 12-year-old AWAY from his mother. Approximately 2 years ago, he took our 12-year-old to stay with his grandmother, 30 minutes away from his home and mother, while he was sick. He did not tell our 12-year-old’s mother about this until after it was done. This was one of the many things we were told to “let go of” during previous court cases. And now, Sick Sack has dragged us back into court, and is suggesting that actions which are acceptable and appropriate are not, while maintaining that actions he’s taken which are far worse are fine and appropriate. And, as far as I can tell, the only reason why we must be so incredibly “better” than him is because he is going to make an issue OUT OF EVERYTHING, and his lawyer will support him in these outrageous claims.
Our 16-year-old’s therapist just wrote a letter in which she said that a homeschooling program was best for our 16-year-old, that it was not an idea that my wife had “bullied” upon the therapist, and that it needed to happen immediately because of ongoing relationships problems between our 16-year-old and his father. She wrote this letter because, after making the recommendation and after my wife had informed Shitty Sack about the recommendation, Shitty Sack said that he would get the school board legal counsel involved, because he hadn’t been made aware of any decisions and he hadn’t been included. When it was pointed out that he had been included, and there was no way to include him any further than how he was being included, he then stated that the school board and the therapist had been bullied by my wife and were not able to come to this decision on their own. Our case became more complicated because… why??? And none of it helps either of the boys. Our 16-year-old is still waiting to enroll in his homeschooling program, which his doctor is strongly recommending, and the school team is recommending. He’s still waiting to get the help he deserves. Waiting because his father isn’t thinking about his health and well-being.
Their father NEVER thinks about the boys’ health and well-being. And then he sues my wife for sole custody. Maddening.
I don’t know what my wife is going to do about our 12-year-old situation now. I kinda hope she stays at home. Not because I want to be without money next week, but because it’s the path of least resistance, and that’s what she and our 12-year-old deserve. It’s not what we as a family deserve. But reduction of stress is essential right now.
When I was a child and entertained the thoughts of having my own family one day, I had normal thoughts of concern that I would be able to provide for them, make them happy, and help them live life to the fullest. I never could have imagined that there would ever have been a time when I would have to say something like, “No, honey, I shouldn’t stay with our 12-year-old today or tomorrow, not because I’m not capable or that it would make him feel uncomfortable, but because the legal battle over custody of our two children might be a less-stressful fight if you stay with him rather than me, even if it means we can only eat hot dogs for a week.”
It’s a very strange thing to feel like you cannot take care of yourself or your children because the choices you’re making are going to be legally used against you to take away your children, while those same choices made by the party fighting you are forgotten about. And when you ask why the double standard, those legally responsible for providing counsel tell you to “let it go”.
I cannot put words to my fury and frustration.
On Monday, our 12-year-old is still sick, so he’s taken to the clinic, where he’s diagnosed with the flu. He’s prescribed two kinds of medications, as well as bed-rest and lots of fluids. There’s not much one can do for the flu except ride it out. My wife’s job allows her to stay at home to care for our 12-year-old.
My wife talks with me on Monday, and asks if there’s any way that I could take off work to care for our 12-year-old. I have a full-time state job that allows for sick time and paid leave. Her job is part-time, and when she leaves, she doesn’t get paid. With us spending over $200 unexpectedly on medical bills and drugs for our sick child, and with me not getting the promotion I was told I would get, and with me stopping the secondary jobs I had so that I could spend more time with my family during this difficult time over custody battles, we’re running shorter on cash than we have in a very long time. And we could really use her income. And, while my job is trying to over-work me more than normal, dangling my promotion in front of me, I feel certain that I will be able to ask for some time off to care for our 12-year-old so that my wife can go to work and earn the money we need.
I just received a text from my wife, saying that our 12-year-old’s father is making an issue out of my staying with our 12-year-old while he’s sick, and if she isn’t able to stay with him, he believes that our 12-year-old should stay with his father. My wife suggested that maybe she should just stay with our 12-year-old. And I support her decision to do whatever she needs or wants to do. Anything she needs or wants to do, I’m behind it.
I mention all of this because it makes me mad all over again. Our boys’ father NEVER thinks about the health and well-being of his children. NEVER. Not Once. If he did, there would be no reason to think that pulling a sick boy away from his home, his bed, his familiar surroundings, and his drugs would be in his best interest. Please justify how uprooting a sick child at home with his step-father for 5 hours will benefit the sick child. You cannot suggest that our 12-year-old would be benefitted in any way by this. What’s more, this Sick Sack Of Shit father has done precisely this to move the 12-year-old AWAY from his mother. Approximately 2 years ago, he took our 12-year-old to stay with his grandmother, 30 minutes away from his home and mother, while he was sick. He did not tell our 12-year-old’s mother about this until after it was done. This was one of the many things we were told to “let go of” during previous court cases. And now, Sick Sack has dragged us back into court, and is suggesting that actions which are acceptable and appropriate are not, while maintaining that actions he’s taken which are far worse are fine and appropriate. And, as far as I can tell, the only reason why we must be so incredibly “better” than him is because he is going to make an issue OUT OF EVERYTHING, and his lawyer will support him in these outrageous claims.
Our 16-year-old’s therapist just wrote a letter in which she said that a homeschooling program was best for our 16-year-old, that it was not an idea that my wife had “bullied” upon the therapist, and that it needed to happen immediately because of ongoing relationships problems between our 16-year-old and his father. She wrote this letter because, after making the recommendation and after my wife had informed Shitty Sack about the recommendation, Shitty Sack said that he would get the school board legal counsel involved, because he hadn’t been made aware of any decisions and he hadn’t been included. When it was pointed out that he had been included, and there was no way to include him any further than how he was being included, he then stated that the school board and the therapist had been bullied by my wife and were not able to come to this decision on their own. Our case became more complicated because… why??? And none of it helps either of the boys. Our 16-year-old is still waiting to enroll in his homeschooling program, which his doctor is strongly recommending, and the school team is recommending. He’s still waiting to get the help he deserves. Waiting because his father isn’t thinking about his health and well-being.
Their father NEVER thinks about the boys’ health and well-being. And then he sues my wife for sole custody. Maddening.
I don’t know what my wife is going to do about our 12-year-old situation now. I kinda hope she stays at home. Not because I want to be without money next week, but because it’s the path of least resistance, and that’s what she and our 12-year-old deserve. It’s not what we as a family deserve. But reduction of stress is essential right now.
When I was a child and entertained the thoughts of having my own family one day, I had normal thoughts of concern that I would be able to provide for them, make them happy, and help them live life to the fullest. I never could have imagined that there would ever have been a time when I would have to say something like, “No, honey, I shouldn’t stay with our 12-year-old today or tomorrow, not because I’m not capable or that it would make him feel uncomfortable, but because the legal battle over custody of our two children might be a less-stressful fight if you stay with him rather than me, even if it means we can only eat hot dogs for a week.”
It’s a very strange thing to feel like you cannot take care of yourself or your children because the choices you’re making are going to be legally used against you to take away your children, while those same choices made by the party fighting you are forgotten about. And when you ask why the double standard, those legally responsible for providing counsel tell you to “let it go”.
I cannot put words to my fury and frustration.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
run far away
standing in the place
i have always been
day after day by day
end at the begin
spinning in the face
ever lusive win
say what i say to say
it won't ever end
packing up
to come on back
every hill i climb becomes
the hill i climbed to
climb the hill that's
every hill i climb
it makes less sense every time
i know it's not the right move
but it's the one move i can make
the one thing that is mine alone
the one thing you can't take
far
away
i want to run
far
away
get away
just break away
from all this nothing i'm in
far
away
i want to run
far
away
to get away
just break away
to run far away
gamings that i play
to ignore the things you say
everything you say
isn't anything that way
stopped at every go
it's maddening to know
i take a step that
you back up so
my first step
is further back
then you blame me for your attack
running into walls can only
lead to brokenness
you were broken long ago
but i get all the mess
far
away
i want to run
far
away
get away
just break away
from all this stagnant i am in
far
away
i want to run
far
away
to get away
just break away
to run
to run
forever
far away
i have always been
day after day by day
end at the begin
spinning in the face
ever lusive win
say what i say to say
it won't ever end
packing up
to come on back
every hill i climb becomes
the hill i climbed to
climb the hill that's
every hill i climb
it makes less sense every time
i know it's not the right move
but it's the one move i can make
the one thing that is mine alone
the one thing you can't take
far
away
i want to run
far
away
get away
just break away
from all this nothing i'm in
far
away
i want to run
far
away
to get away
just break away
to run far away
gamings that i play
to ignore the things you say
everything you say
isn't anything that way
stopped at every go
it's maddening to know
i take a step that
you back up so
my first step
is further back
then you blame me for your attack
running into walls can only
lead to brokenness
you were broken long ago
but i get all the mess
far
away
i want to run
far
away
get away
just break away
from all this stagnant i am in
far
away
i want to run
far
away
to get away
just break away
to run
to run
forever
far away
Thursday, January 10, 2013
It's Time To Do Something More Than Nothing
Since, according to Mike Huckabee (former Republican Governor of Arkansas, 2008 Republican Presidential hopeful, and current Fox News Channel talk show host), we don’t have a gun problem in this country, but a “sin problem”, I wanted to report on a few sins that have happened recently.
On December 14, 2012, a 20-year-old male killed 6 adults and 20 children at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. Before driving to the school, the male shot and killed his mother at their home. After killing the adults and children at the school, the male shot and killed himself.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandy_Hook_Elementary_School_shooting
Three days prior to this, an adult male went to the food court in a Portland, OR mall and opened fire, killing two people and seriously injuring another. He then shot and killed himself.
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/11/15849093-two-people-shot-to-death-at-mall-in-suburban-portland-oregon-gunman-also-dies?lite
Less than one month after the shootings in Newtown, on January 10, 2013, two people were injured in a shooting at Taft High School in Taft, California. The shooter is in custody.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/10/taft-high-school-shooting_n_2449261.html
The Affordable Healthcare Act, aka Obamacare, has a provision in it protecting 2nd amendment rights. Title X, starting on page 2,037, line 23, outlines that wellness and prevention programs may not require the disclosure or collection of information relating to the presence or storage of a lawfully possessed firearm or the use of a firearm. In other words, if I’m depressed and homicidal with intent to kill people with my guns, and my wife is concerned about me and takes me to the hospital, the nurse can ask me if I’m depressed, and when I say yes, the nurse can ask me if I’m homicidal, and I can say yes, but at that point the nurse or doctor cannot ask me if I have the means to harm anyone, including myself, with a firearm or any weapon. If I decide to volunteer that information to the nurse or doctor, the next provision of Obamacare states that the nurse or doctor cannot record or collect the data related to owning or using a firearm. If I’m successfully treated at the hospital, and I seek therapy, the next provision of the Protection of 2nd Amendment Rights detailed in Obamacare says that my counselor cannot write down that I have guns or ammunition, even though that might be helpful to know for my treatment, as my arsenal is pretty big. The fourth provision limits the ability to determine rates or eligibility for health insurance based on gun ownership, even though insurance will be guaranteed. Just so you understand what that means: your insurance rates go down if you have automatic seatbelts in your car, your insurance rates go down if you have a history of safe driving without tickets—your insurance company, essentially, rewards you for being safe… and does nothing if you own a weapon. And the last provision of Obamacare related to guns states that I don’t have to tell any medical professional that I own a gun even if asked.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolynmcclanahan/2012/07/23/gun-owner-rights-and-obamacare-yes-it-is-in-the-law/
I mention all of that to mention this. Wayne LaPierre, the executive vice president of the NRA, blamed the news media for focusing on the wrong issue—guns—rather than violent video games and the nation’s mental health care programs following the shootings in Newtown, CT. LaPierre states that there is no “active national database of the mentally ill.” LaPierre is also known to say “the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/12/21/167785169/live-blog-nra-news-conference
If we are to believe Wayne, he’s suggesting that gun violence is the product of poor mental health, and those with mental health problems are “bad guys” who need to be stopped by being shot by people without any mental health problems. It’s a shame that individuals who are currently trying to get treatment for mental health issues would be painted as “bad guys” simply because they have issues, diseases, sicknesses, and other health concerns. Personally, I think the simple act of wanting to shoot a human would be a strong indicator of a mental health problem. So let’s focus on mental health, then, and say that the only people who will be allowed to have access to firearms are people without mental health problems. I’m pretty okay with that, seeing as the folks who want assault weapons and large capacity magazines because the government is going to come and take away their freedoms are currently suffering from paranoid psychoses and probable schizophrenia. And, as we’ve seen, the NRA doesn’t really want to provide helpful solutions to our healthcare system, and certainly doesn’t want to be mentioned in any way to any healthcare professional. So we can add Not Caring About Your Mental Health to the ever growing list of things the NRA doesn’t want you to think about. So, ultimately, the NRA doesn’t want to help you with your mental health concerns, doesn’t want to limit access to guns, and, in fact, wants to put more guns in the world… without regulations of any kind.
And then you get those who talk about how there are more fatal car accidents every year than there are gun accidents, but you don’t see people getting rid of all the cars. No, you don’t see people getting rid of all the cars. But you do see people being strictly licensed to use cars, a huge, often prohibitive, price on owning a car, regulations about how cars are made and used, laws about the way in which you can use cars around others and in private, and an entire industry built around maintaining a quantitative standard of safety about those cars. So that industry has lots and lots of controls on it. And that industry is not making a weapon. It’s making a vehicle. The purpose of a vehicle is to transport an individual or cargo from one place to another. The purpose of a weapon is to harm individuals. So being harmed by a vehicle is an accident. Being harmed by a weapon is its job.
Or maybe we should focus on the individuals that insist that our government will take away our freedom and liberty, just like Stalin and Hitler, if they are allowed to regulate our guns. What isn’t said in this argument is that, individuals who believe this, believe the only reason their government—sworn into contract through a constitution created to build a more perfect union—hasn’t imprisoned all of is because some of us have pistols. And, therefore, the government is powerless to make us all prisoners of war in some kind of hostile takeover. There is no evidence that our government has any desire to do this. And to not trust the institutions and individuals tasked with our protection requires a level of paranoia that would prohibit gun ownership, if Wayne LaPierre gets what he’s asking for (which he doesn’t really want).
And so, to return to Mike Huckabee’s “sin problem”, I believe the sin we are committing is that we currently have legal and easy access to guns of all kinds, almost without restriction, in a nation where the people who are most outspoken about how we cannot put any restrictions on guns or ammunition are also the most outspoken about preventing medical help for those who might have access to these weapons, putting all of us in danger, and then try to sideline productive conversation about the issues with smoke screens.
Sounds like the New Big Tobacco.
A man walks into a school with a gun. He then uses that gun to kill children.
A man walks into a school with Grand Theft Auto and a Marilyn Manson CD. Nobody gets shot with a gun.
Simple.
It’s time to do something more than nothing.
On December 14, 2012, a 20-year-old male killed 6 adults and 20 children at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. Before driving to the school, the male shot and killed his mother at their home. After killing the adults and children at the school, the male shot and killed himself.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandy_Hook_Elementary_School_shooting
Three days prior to this, an adult male went to the food court in a Portland, OR mall and opened fire, killing two people and seriously injuring another. He then shot and killed himself.
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/11/15849093-two-people-shot-to-death-at-mall-in-suburban-portland-oregon-gunman-also-dies?lite
Less than one month after the shootings in Newtown, on January 10, 2013, two people were injured in a shooting at Taft High School in Taft, California. The shooter is in custody.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/10/taft-high-school-shooting_n_2449261.html
The Affordable Healthcare Act, aka Obamacare, has a provision in it protecting 2nd amendment rights. Title X, starting on page 2,037, line 23, outlines that wellness and prevention programs may not require the disclosure or collection of information relating to the presence or storage of a lawfully possessed firearm or the use of a firearm. In other words, if I’m depressed and homicidal with intent to kill people with my guns, and my wife is concerned about me and takes me to the hospital, the nurse can ask me if I’m depressed, and when I say yes, the nurse can ask me if I’m homicidal, and I can say yes, but at that point the nurse or doctor cannot ask me if I have the means to harm anyone, including myself, with a firearm or any weapon. If I decide to volunteer that information to the nurse or doctor, the next provision of Obamacare states that the nurse or doctor cannot record or collect the data related to owning or using a firearm. If I’m successfully treated at the hospital, and I seek therapy, the next provision of the Protection of 2nd Amendment Rights detailed in Obamacare says that my counselor cannot write down that I have guns or ammunition, even though that might be helpful to know for my treatment, as my arsenal is pretty big. The fourth provision limits the ability to determine rates or eligibility for health insurance based on gun ownership, even though insurance will be guaranteed. Just so you understand what that means: your insurance rates go down if you have automatic seatbelts in your car, your insurance rates go down if you have a history of safe driving without tickets—your insurance company, essentially, rewards you for being safe… and does nothing if you own a weapon. And the last provision of Obamacare related to guns states that I don’t have to tell any medical professional that I own a gun even if asked.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolynmcclanahan/2012/07/23/gun-owner-rights-and-obamacare-yes-it-is-in-the-law/
I mention all of that to mention this. Wayne LaPierre, the executive vice president of the NRA, blamed the news media for focusing on the wrong issue—guns—rather than violent video games and the nation’s mental health care programs following the shootings in Newtown, CT. LaPierre states that there is no “active national database of the mentally ill.” LaPierre is also known to say “the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/12/21/167785169/live-blog-nra-news-conference
If we are to believe Wayne, he’s suggesting that gun violence is the product of poor mental health, and those with mental health problems are “bad guys” who need to be stopped by being shot by people without any mental health problems. It’s a shame that individuals who are currently trying to get treatment for mental health issues would be painted as “bad guys” simply because they have issues, diseases, sicknesses, and other health concerns. Personally, I think the simple act of wanting to shoot a human would be a strong indicator of a mental health problem. So let’s focus on mental health, then, and say that the only people who will be allowed to have access to firearms are people without mental health problems. I’m pretty okay with that, seeing as the folks who want assault weapons and large capacity magazines because the government is going to come and take away their freedoms are currently suffering from paranoid psychoses and probable schizophrenia. And, as we’ve seen, the NRA doesn’t really want to provide helpful solutions to our healthcare system, and certainly doesn’t want to be mentioned in any way to any healthcare professional. So we can add Not Caring About Your Mental Health to the ever growing list of things the NRA doesn’t want you to think about. So, ultimately, the NRA doesn’t want to help you with your mental health concerns, doesn’t want to limit access to guns, and, in fact, wants to put more guns in the world… without regulations of any kind.
And then you get those who talk about how there are more fatal car accidents every year than there are gun accidents, but you don’t see people getting rid of all the cars. No, you don’t see people getting rid of all the cars. But you do see people being strictly licensed to use cars, a huge, often prohibitive, price on owning a car, regulations about how cars are made and used, laws about the way in which you can use cars around others and in private, and an entire industry built around maintaining a quantitative standard of safety about those cars. So that industry has lots and lots of controls on it. And that industry is not making a weapon. It’s making a vehicle. The purpose of a vehicle is to transport an individual or cargo from one place to another. The purpose of a weapon is to harm individuals. So being harmed by a vehicle is an accident. Being harmed by a weapon is its job.
Or maybe we should focus on the individuals that insist that our government will take away our freedom and liberty, just like Stalin and Hitler, if they are allowed to regulate our guns. What isn’t said in this argument is that, individuals who believe this, believe the only reason their government—sworn into contract through a constitution created to build a more perfect union—hasn’t imprisoned all of is because some of us have pistols. And, therefore, the government is powerless to make us all prisoners of war in some kind of hostile takeover. There is no evidence that our government has any desire to do this. And to not trust the institutions and individuals tasked with our protection requires a level of paranoia that would prohibit gun ownership, if Wayne LaPierre gets what he’s asking for (which he doesn’t really want).
And so, to return to Mike Huckabee’s “sin problem”, I believe the sin we are committing is that we currently have legal and easy access to guns of all kinds, almost without restriction, in a nation where the people who are most outspoken about how we cannot put any restrictions on guns or ammunition are also the most outspoken about preventing medical help for those who might have access to these weapons, putting all of us in danger, and then try to sideline productive conversation about the issues with smoke screens.
Sounds like the New Big Tobacco.
A man walks into a school with a gun. He then uses that gun to kill children.
A man walks into a school with Grand Theft Auto and a Marilyn Manson CD. Nobody gets shot with a gun.
Simple.
It’s time to do something more than nothing.
On Being A Parent
Just read something about Ryan Andresen, who was approved to receive his Eagle Scout award from the Boy Scouts of America, then was denied the recognition because he’s openly gay, and the Boy Scouts have a no-gay policy. What I read struck me, not because Ryan is gay, or that the Boy Scouts denied his Eagle Scout achievement simply because of this, because of what Ryan’s parents did. His mother sent a letter and called some news organizations to make sure that people knew about what was going on. Ryan’s father stood by his son and gave his words of support for his son when interviewed.
And what really struck me was this question: Would I be reading about this if Ryan’s parents had abandoned him?
If your folks support you, you automatically have a group, and you’re all pointing your focus in one direction. In Ryan’s case, he focused on Eagle Scout, and then was supported by two more people who brought a lot more attention to his case.
I wonder, had Ryan’s parents not supported him like they did, would we even know about Ryan’s case. I’d like to think we would. But just recently I discovered that there had been another public shooting in Portland, OR, that I didn’t know about, and I try to stay pretty informed and our country is hypersensitive to gun violence these days, and this most recent shooting—more recent than Newtown—had slipped by me (and most news outlets, it would seem, too). Would Ryan’s discrimination story have also slipped by had his parents not drummed up some noise in support of their son? I’m guessing that it would have been really tough for me to hear about Ryan without his parents. And without his parents, I would have stayed ignorant. His parents helped a lot of people, gay and straight. And, most importantly, Ryan’s parents helped Ryan.
And all of these thoughts ran through my head in seconds. It took me much longer to put words to those thoughts so I could share them here with you. And in those seconds, I thought about my wife’s parents. In her story, my wife’s parents didn’t come out and vocally support her, they didn’t even keep quiet and say nothing. They were vocal against her, in opposition to her. For no reason. My wife isn’t gay, she hasn’t broken any laws, is a great mother, a beautiful person, the best wife and best friend I could ever hope for. She’s respectful, kind, funny, intelligent, thoughtful, caring, loving, talented, compassionate. She has the best heart of anyone I’ve ever met. Yes, I’m biased in favor of my soul mate. And part of your job as somebody’s parent is to be biased in favor of your child. It’s part of the job.
What would I be reading about if Ryan’s parents rallied their friends at his home or church to publicly ridicule Ryan’s “choice”, and try to cure him with judgment, shame, and boot camps to cure the disease of his homosexuality?
I didn’t read anything about how a local church publicly ridiculed one of its parishioners, stripping the church member of her status and job with the church. I didn’t read anything about when they all turned their backs on her when she got divorced from an abusive husband. I didn’t read anything about when they supported the attacks of this abusive ex-husband and father of two as he continued to abuse her and her children. This was my wife. This is my wife. And I get so furious about it, mostly because I can’t fix it.
And almost as soon as those thoughts go through my head, I feel the unconditional support of my mother and stepfather. And I feel so lucky that I felt supported in my life, even when I stupidly decided not to live with my mother anymore. She didn’t stop. My stepfather didn’t stop. And they never have. And they continue to support my stupidity, intelligence, silliness, depression, schizophrenia, and everything else. They make me happy and angry. They are my family. They have worked through the transitions of being a family by marriage, being in-laws, being step-grandparents. They have dropped all those stupid technical words that create distance, and have made it a priority to make sure that we are one, simple FAMILY. And they support. And they support my wife. And this helps so, so, so very much. They help us both when we’re dealing with all of it. And while they cannot replace the emptiness and hurt that my wife feels when she thinks about her parents rejecting her repeatedly and supporting those who continue to try to hurt her and her children, they provide shoulders to cry on, and smiling faces and comforting, helpful, and supportive words and deeds that are appreciated beyond measure. They are the example to be followed.
Ryan Andresen is incredibly fortunate to have the parents he has. I know.
And what really struck me was this question: Would I be reading about this if Ryan’s parents had abandoned him?
If your folks support you, you automatically have a group, and you’re all pointing your focus in one direction. In Ryan’s case, he focused on Eagle Scout, and then was supported by two more people who brought a lot more attention to his case.
I wonder, had Ryan’s parents not supported him like they did, would we even know about Ryan’s case. I’d like to think we would. But just recently I discovered that there had been another public shooting in Portland, OR, that I didn’t know about, and I try to stay pretty informed and our country is hypersensitive to gun violence these days, and this most recent shooting—more recent than Newtown—had slipped by me (and most news outlets, it would seem, too). Would Ryan’s discrimination story have also slipped by had his parents not drummed up some noise in support of their son? I’m guessing that it would have been really tough for me to hear about Ryan without his parents. And without his parents, I would have stayed ignorant. His parents helped a lot of people, gay and straight. And, most importantly, Ryan’s parents helped Ryan.
And all of these thoughts ran through my head in seconds. It took me much longer to put words to those thoughts so I could share them here with you. And in those seconds, I thought about my wife’s parents. In her story, my wife’s parents didn’t come out and vocally support her, they didn’t even keep quiet and say nothing. They were vocal against her, in opposition to her. For no reason. My wife isn’t gay, she hasn’t broken any laws, is a great mother, a beautiful person, the best wife and best friend I could ever hope for. She’s respectful, kind, funny, intelligent, thoughtful, caring, loving, talented, compassionate. She has the best heart of anyone I’ve ever met. Yes, I’m biased in favor of my soul mate. And part of your job as somebody’s parent is to be biased in favor of your child. It’s part of the job.
What would I be reading about if Ryan’s parents rallied their friends at his home or church to publicly ridicule Ryan’s “choice”, and try to cure him with judgment, shame, and boot camps to cure the disease of his homosexuality?
I didn’t read anything about how a local church publicly ridiculed one of its parishioners, stripping the church member of her status and job with the church. I didn’t read anything about when they all turned their backs on her when she got divorced from an abusive husband. I didn’t read anything about when they supported the attacks of this abusive ex-husband and father of two as he continued to abuse her and her children. This was my wife. This is my wife. And I get so furious about it, mostly because I can’t fix it.
And almost as soon as those thoughts go through my head, I feel the unconditional support of my mother and stepfather. And I feel so lucky that I felt supported in my life, even when I stupidly decided not to live with my mother anymore. She didn’t stop. My stepfather didn’t stop. And they never have. And they continue to support my stupidity, intelligence, silliness, depression, schizophrenia, and everything else. They make me happy and angry. They are my family. They have worked through the transitions of being a family by marriage, being in-laws, being step-grandparents. They have dropped all those stupid technical words that create distance, and have made it a priority to make sure that we are one, simple FAMILY. And they support. And they support my wife. And this helps so, so, so very much. They help us both when we’re dealing with all of it. And while they cannot replace the emptiness and hurt that my wife feels when she thinks about her parents rejecting her repeatedly and supporting those who continue to try to hurt her and her children, they provide shoulders to cry on, and smiling faces and comforting, helpful, and supportive words and deeds that are appreciated beyond measure. They are the example to be followed.
Ryan Andresen is incredibly fortunate to have the parents he has. I know.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Today I Ache
Today I ache. My body is yelling at me, but I can’t understand anything more than “I’M IN PAIN!” My neck and shoulders hurt when I move them. My back feels like it’s done a thousand sit-ups. My stomach feels like I ate a plate of poop. So does my mouth. My head is covered in a thick gauze. My feet feel like I’ve been waiting tables for a triple shift at Waffle House for the past three days. My legs and butt have been beaten up by midgets with brass knuckles. I try to remind myself that this would be a positive feeling if I had just started a workout program. I would welcome these feelings. “Ah yes,” my body would sigh, “these are the feelings of a body that has been worked out and is on its way to getting stronger.” I think the biggest part that’s missing from this equation is that I didn’t start a workout program.
I remember liking Waffle House. I also liked Village Inn pancake house. And IHOP. Jimmy’s Egg… not so much. Beverly’s… nah. And, to this day, never eat at Ann’s Chicken Fry, if for no other reason than adherence to tradition. I also liked Furr’s cafeteria. My wife doesn’t think they’re around anymore, though. Shame. They had great chess pie. I love chess pie.
If my fat body could comfortably fit into a booth or chair at Waffle House, I might go there soon. My physical discomfort with restrictive seating is helping me maintain my budget. Thank you, Enorm-ass!
I remember liking Waffle House. I also liked Village Inn pancake house. And IHOP. Jimmy’s Egg… not so much. Beverly’s… nah. And, to this day, never eat at Ann’s Chicken Fry, if for no other reason than adherence to tradition. I also liked Furr’s cafeteria. My wife doesn’t think they’re around anymore, though. Shame. They had great chess pie. I love chess pie.
If my fat body could comfortably fit into a booth or chair at Waffle House, I might go there soon. My physical discomfort with restrictive seating is helping me maintain my budget. Thank you, Enorm-ass!
What Will You Do?
His relationship with his father is strained.
He has several therapy sessions with his father over several years.
He tries several different ways to communicate with his father.
Father continues to refuse to be a productive member or the relationship.
Father continues to insist on being an abusive member of the relationship:
Not allowing him access to personal belongings or freedoms.
Father continues to insist that he is disabled and cannot think for himself.
Father continues to lie to him and his therapist.
He states that he doesn’t want to see his father anymore.
His father abandons him at his mother’s house without word as to when or if he will be seen again.
His father makes no attempt to see him.
His father says that he won’t have to go to court to get his belongings from his father’s house.
Rather than speak with him or his mother, his father sues his mother, which catches him in the crossfire.
His father then says he can’t have his belongings because of court.
He goes to his father’s house to get his belongings, and his father physically abuses him by grabbing him and pushing him around the house and front yard. His father emotionally abuses him by screaming at him, telling him that he’s not allowed to come over and that he’s not allowed back at this house and that he’s going to call the police. His father screams that if he tries to come back to the house, he will have no problem telling the police that he’s a delinquent and will send him to jail.
Part of the court agreement is he needs to meet with his father in a therapeutic setting to work on their communication.
He tells his therapist that he has already met with his father and nothing has changed.
He tells her about the abuses at his father’s house.
She asks if that’s what really happened, because his father has a much different story.
He tells her it is what happened.
She recommends he meets with his father in a therapeutic setting.
He tells his teachers that school isn’t working for him, causing enormous stress.
They offer their empathy with little changes and tell him to continue doing the same thing.
One week from today he is scheduled to meet with his therapist and his father again.
He feels unheard and not taken seriously.
Therapy has been attempted in the past with no help.
There is no reason to believe that additional exposure to an abusive, harassing and dangerous father in a therapeutic setting will be beneficial or bring different results from the repeated past sessions.
There is no reason to believe that continuing to do the same things at school that have brought him to this point will bring different, more beneficial results than past, stressful situations.
So the only question is “What will you do to help him that is different from what he’s already tried?”
He has several therapy sessions with his father over several years.
He tries several different ways to communicate with his father.
Father continues to refuse to be a productive member or the relationship.
Father continues to insist on being an abusive member of the relationship:
Not allowing him access to personal belongings or freedoms.
Father continues to insist that he is disabled and cannot think for himself.
Father continues to lie to him and his therapist.
He states that he doesn’t want to see his father anymore.
His father abandons him at his mother’s house without word as to when or if he will be seen again.
His father makes no attempt to see him.
His father says that he won’t have to go to court to get his belongings from his father’s house.
Rather than speak with him or his mother, his father sues his mother, which catches him in the crossfire.
His father then says he can’t have his belongings because of court.
He goes to his father’s house to get his belongings, and his father physically abuses him by grabbing him and pushing him around the house and front yard. His father emotionally abuses him by screaming at him, telling him that he’s not allowed to come over and that he’s not allowed back at this house and that he’s going to call the police. His father screams that if he tries to come back to the house, he will have no problem telling the police that he’s a delinquent and will send him to jail.
Part of the court agreement is he needs to meet with his father in a therapeutic setting to work on their communication.
He tells his therapist that he has already met with his father and nothing has changed.
He tells her about the abuses at his father’s house.
She asks if that’s what really happened, because his father has a much different story.
He tells her it is what happened.
She recommends he meets with his father in a therapeutic setting.
He tells his teachers that school isn’t working for him, causing enormous stress.
They offer their empathy with little changes and tell him to continue doing the same thing.
One week from today he is scheduled to meet with his therapist and his father again.
He feels unheard and not taken seriously.
Therapy has been attempted in the past with no help.
There is no reason to believe that additional exposure to an abusive, harassing and dangerous father in a therapeutic setting will be beneficial or bring different results from the repeated past sessions.
There is no reason to believe that continuing to do the same things at school that have brought him to this point will bring different, more beneficial results than past, stressful situations.
So the only question is “What will you do to help him that is different from what he’s already tried?”