What Will You Do?

His relationship with his father is strained.


He has several therapy sessions with his father over several years.

He tries several different ways to communicate with his father.

Father continues to refuse to be a productive member or the relationship.

Father continues to insist on being an abusive member of the relationship:

Not allowing him access to personal belongings or freedoms.

Father continues to insist that he is disabled and cannot think for himself.

Father continues to lie to him and his therapist.

He states that he doesn’t want to see his father anymore.

His father abandons him at his mother’s house without word as to when or if he will be seen again.

His father makes no attempt to see him.

His father says that he won’t have to go to court to get his belongings from his father’s house.

Rather than speak with him or his mother, his father sues his mother, which catches him in the crossfire.

His father then says he can’t have his belongings because of court.

He goes to his father’s house to get his belongings, and his father physically abuses him by grabbing him and pushing him around the house and front yard. His father emotionally abuses him by screaming at him, telling him that he’s not allowed to come over and that he’s not allowed back at this house and that he’s going to call the police. His father screams that if he tries to come back to the house, he will have no problem telling the police that he’s a delinquent and will send him to jail.

Part of the court agreement is he needs to meet with his father in a therapeutic setting to work on their communication.

He tells his therapist that he has already met with his father and nothing has changed.

He tells her about the abuses at his father’s house.

She asks if that’s what really happened, because his father has a much different story.

He tells her it is what happened.

She recommends he meets with his father in a therapeutic setting.

He tells his teachers that school isn’t working for him, causing enormous stress.

They offer their empathy with little changes and tell him to continue doing the same thing.

One week from today he is scheduled to meet with his therapist and his father again.

He feels unheard and not taken seriously.

Therapy has been attempted in the past with no help.

There is no reason to believe that additional exposure to an abusive, harassing and dangerous father in a therapeutic setting will be beneficial or bring different results from the repeated past sessions.

There is no reason to believe that continuing to do the same things at school that have brought him to this point will bring different, more beneficial results than past, stressful situations.

So the only question is “What will you do to help him that is different from what he’s already tried?”