What's Wrong With Me?!

My agent sent me an audition notice late last night.  I didn't get it until early this morning.
It's for a movie-- a feature-length movie-- not a commercial.  So I was interested.
The money isn't much.  and the shooting is for 6 days only, so it's possible that it could work around my work schedule. 

And as I think about doing the movie, I start to get really pissed.  Really, really pissed.  Here are some of the thoughts that I can put words to:

Fuckin' movie.  Gotta work around my fucking work schedule.  And they're going to yell at me at my work about asking for time off or asking for altered schedule or for causing a ruckus.  And the goddam movie is shooting over 2 hours away from my house, so the gas is going to be outrageous (which the movie says they will pay for).  But this all sucks!!

I don't understand.  I don't get it that I should get so upset about a stupid movie!  I would think that I would be happy about a stupid movie!  Right?!  So what's the big deal?  They're going to yell at me at work?  They're going to tell me I can't do it?  Fine, they yell at me.  Fine, they tell me I can't do it.  I don't get where my angst and anger is coming from.  I don't get myself.

But I've told my agent I'll audition for this bad movie.  And I'm a little excited about it.  There's just a large, screaming baby on top of my excitement right now, and it's pissing me off.  I'm an idiot.