Dumb Day

Yesterday was a weird day for me, as it was good and bad.

Do you ever have one of those times when you're not able to say the right thing? You think you're going to say something that helps, but the moment it comes out of your mouth, you wish you could take it back, cuz it doesn't help or make anyone feel good? I did that yesterday with my wife. I told her I didn't think she liked to make decisions, which may or may not be the case. But I could tell that it didn't make her feel good to hear that from me. She didn't pout or tell me that I had hurt her feelings or anything. But I could tell she didn't want to hear that from me. So I tried to make it better, by saying something stupid, like, "It's not a bad thing to not like to make decisions. Sometimes I don't like to make decisions and it's like, 'wow, that decision is really hard for me to make. I just wish somebody would make it for me!' It sucks." Of course, this didn't help, as it was completely stupid. But my wife was smarter than I was. She stayed quiet. And I squirmed.

We then went to get pizza, and she said, "I'm good with whatever you get. I don't like anchovies and I don't like green peppers, but other than that, get whatever you want." I went in with every intention of getting a 3-meat treat. But it wasn't on the menu. I saw the supreme, and I remembered that my wife had gotten the supreme a while ago and really liked that, so I got that one.

Later, when we got home, she proved to me that she was capable of making decisions. She picked the movie without asking if I wanted to see it, she took the last good beer, and she took the pizza from me and ate half of it before offering me the box. I was tickled pink about all of that! I was so glad to hear her telling me which movie we were going to watch, and I loved seeing her take that last good beer, as she hadn't had even one of the good beers out of 12, and we had already determined she was more hungry than I was so she should get the pizza before me. It was nice. But she still had that Something's Irritating air about her. Something was up, and when you're married you automatically think it's because of something you did. It can't be that you're tired or that life is getting to you. No. Your spouse is irritated because of something you did. At least, that's the way my head works. But she wasn't telling me I had done something, so I tried hard to trust that she would tell me if I had done something wrong. And she didn't tell me. And as we watched the movie that she picked, I could tell that it was shaking the irritation from her. It was a good movie, and she was enjoying it. And I was enjoying it. And she was enjoying that we were enjoying it together. And she snuggled me.

Later, as we were about to sleep, she asked if I was aware that the pizza I got had one of the items she had told me not to get. No, I told her, rather sheepishly, I didn't realize that. I told her that she had gotten a supreme in the past, so I thought it was safe. She told me that she had gotten a veggie. And in my head, I got a little pissed. Are you kidding me?! A supreme pizza has green peppers, but a VEGGIE doesn't?! Who does that?! But even as I was saying that in my head, it made perfect sense: the supreme has more stuff on it-- stuff like green peppers-- that's why they call it a "supreme". She had only given me two things to avoid, and I had managed to screw even that simple request up. "Do they do bad things to your tummy?" I asked, hoping that she just didn't like the flavor. "Yeah," she said. I felt even worse. "AND you don't like the taste?" I asked, hoping that at least she might like the taste. "Yeah, I don't like the taste."

I.
Was.
Stupid.

"I was able to pick most of them off," she said.

Stupid.

There was nothing I could do. I couldn't stop talking about the stupid lack of decision making skills, which she proved was incorrect later in the evening. I couldn't get the right pizza. And to make it even worse, she wasn't yelling at me. She wasn't blaming me for being an idiot. I just had to sit in my idiocy and look at her being as kind as possible. If she had yelled at me, it would've let me off the hook somehow. You know, like, ah ha! She's yelling, so I don't really have to listen to her, cuz she should know by now that I'm not trying to hurt her feelings with my words or by getting the wrong pizza. It was an honest mistake, but she's so reactionary to EVERYTHING! What a jerk!!

But she didn't do that. She never does that with me. And honestly, I don't think I normally wear my Idiot Hat as prominently as I did last night. But it sure would've been easy for her to lose it with me. I would've lost it with me. But she didn't. She spent a long time in the bathroom, but she didn't punish me with my own mistake more than I already was.

Nothing I could do last night. I couldn't seem to stop talking. I couldn't pick the right pizza.

But, on the brighter side, my wife stayed with me despite my Epic Failure. Except for when she had to go to the bathroom because of the green peppers, but the rest of the time she stayed with me. And she even kissed me goodnight. A lot.

And she's a super good kisser.

I like days when I'm smarter than I am stupid. I'm gonna try to make today be a day like that.