Tolerant Tuesday

I'm find myself thinking about intolerance today.

I was reading about Kristin Chenoweth, who has described herself as a "non-judgmental, liberal Christian", and she has gotten into public disputes with "her Christian base" because of her support of homosexuality, as well as upsetting her gay fans because she appeared on The 700 Club once, something she later regretted doing.

It was mildly disheartening to me to think about just how many people have issues with judgment and intolerance. It feels far too rare a thing to come across somebody with genuine compassion and empathy.

I feel that intolerance stems from an inability to identify yourself in the person or behavior you are intolerant of. The Christians didn't like it when Kristin supported homosexuality because they don't see themselves as homosexuals. The homosexuals don't support Kristin's choice to be on The 700 Club because they don't identify themselves as... I don't know what... hate- and fear-mongering conservatives?

I think it might be helpful if we could all try to see ourselves in the people we don't like. Try to figure out why we might act or behave in those ways. Maybe if we did that, we might be able to understand and tolerate each other a little better.

I know that's super hard to do, too. I don't want to see myself or any qualities of myself in, say, my boys' father. Even my own father. There are days I look in the mirror and see the horrid mess of crap on my head that some might call Male-Pattern Balding Material, and I see my father's head and hair, and I shudder in disgust. On a weekly basis, I try to identify with why he does what he does in the hopes of becoming a little more empathetic. I do the same with my boys' father. Ultimately, though, I end up saying something like, "well, the biggest difference between me and them is that I'm self-aware enough to take a step back and alter my actions. I'm self-aware enough to change aspects of myself that aren't working as well as I'd like. I'm intelligent enough to be able to see what's not working-- what's causing discomfort and hardship-- and know that I have no control over anyone else, and therefore, the only thing I can do is change myself." Yup, ultimately, I judge them as being idiots for not changing who they are.

And then I think about my weight that I'm uncomfortable with.
My hair that I'm uncomfortable with.
My job that I'm uncomfortable with.
My financial situation that I'm uncomfortable with.
And I think, "yeah, they're dumb for not changing that which causes them discomfort?? What about you, self? If you're so smart, why haven't you changed??"

And those thoughts help to temper my intolerance. I see some of myself in them. Or, what feels a little better, I can see them taking actions that I take, too. In that way, if I judge them, I must also judge myself, and that never feels good.


...wow...
this feels a little heady and heavy for a Tuesday morning.

To get rid of the stale, stuffy taste of this intellectual posturing, I'll leave you with some dirty jokes I heard yesterday:

(if you're a boy)
You wanna hear a dick joke? I've got a good one, but it's too long.

(if you're a girl)
You wanna hear a vag joke? I've got a good one, but you'll never get it.

Happy Tuesday Everybody.