weights

I work at a stupid job.
It's about to end indefinitely unless our law makers in Washington can agree on a federal budget before Friday. If they can't, I might be out of work indefinitely.
I support 4 people on a single income.
I'm not acting at all.
I'm not performing at all.
I can't get people to talk to me about a documentary that I'm not all that thrilled about anymore because of other stressors in my life currently.
An old friend of mine just won an independent music award for best record of the year.
I can't seem to string two pleasing notes together anymore.
I'm spending money so that a counselor can talk with my wife and tell her that her ex-husband doesn't want to talk with her... which we both already know. I'm spending this money to help our lawyer, which costs more money, fight the allegations against us made by our boys' attorney, which we're also paying for.
My boys treat my wife disrespectfully.
My wife and I don't have enough time to spend with each other, and when we do get a moment together, we spend it trying to get the other one to relax and calm down from all our stress.
My wife can't find a job (again).
I can't find a second job... although soon, it might be my first job.

Yes, I'm projecting into a future that I cannot control.
My mother would tell me that I'm borrowing problems and I should stop.
OK. I've stopped.
Now, I have to plan for my future.
The immediate future demands that I look for another job.
The immediate future demands that I bring in more income.
The immediate future demands that I hold off on playing guitar, or piano, or filming.

I'm trying to stay afloat.
It's really, really hard right now.