The Cycle

Paul is 18.  He lives with Mom and Dad.
 
Paul needs to be told to do things several times before he does them.  This, of course, refers to anything that he doesn't want to do.  He remembers things he wants to do.  And this is, pretty much, how all humans work: most often, we remember the things we want to do and forget (or need reminders about) the things we don't want to do.  Yes, as we get older it gets easier to remember the stuff that we don't want to do.  And yes, it's still harder to remember those things than to remember, say, buying and eating a chocolate cake for your birthday.  So Paul wasn't any different from anyone else on the planet.
 
This is Paul and Mom's "Cycle":
Mom will tell Paul to mow the lawn/take out the trash/feed the cats/clean the bathroom.
Paul will not do it.
One day will pass.
Mom will remind Paul that he needs to perform the action she told him about yesterday.  On good days, Paul will not respond to Mom.  On bad days, Paul will ask Mom, "Why do I have to do that thing?"  And no matter how she tries to explain it to him, he will claim that he doesn't understand.  He might not understand.  He might understand.  Either way, he will say that he doesn't understand why he needs to do the explained action, no matter what Mom tells him.  And Mom will try her best to explain it to him.  At some point, Mom will either stop trying to explain to Paul, or Paul will say he understands.
One day will pass.
Mom will remind Paul that he needs to perform the action she told him about two days ago and reminded him about/re-explained to him one day ago, and he needs to do it now.  Paul will fight doing the action with words and frustrations.  Mom will be pushed to a point where she will lose her temper, saying that Paul was told to do the action two days ago.  Paul will say something hurtful.  Mom will lose her temper.  Paul and Mom will go their separate ways for a moment.  Then they will reconnect, Paul will apologize, Mom will apologize and re-explain things to him, and Paul will do the action that was asked of him two days ago.
 
This is the typical Mom/Paul Cycle, or MPC, not to be confused with the character from Tron called "MCP" which stands for Master Control Program.
 
Sometimes, Paul involves Dad by texting him and telling him about the ridiculous things Mom is telling him to do.  Dad, who gets mad hearing that Paul is being disrespectful to his Mom, will gently tell Paul that Paul needs to ship-the-fuck-up or else he can fucking-well-find-a-different-roof-to-live-under and don't-you-ever-fucking-say-those-things-about-your-mother-again-or-you'll-reap-consequences-so-severe-you'll-wish-you-had-never-been-born.  Of course, Dad doesn't say these things out loud to anyone.  He thinks them.  And then tries to find more effective ways of communicating with Paul, like saying "You're free to make your own decisions.  You're 18.  And you're free to experience the consequences of all your decisions."  Dad, typically, feels that what he says doesn't adequately express the quantity or quality of the rage which boils inside him.  However, his rage probably needn't be expressed to the 18 year old dumbass child.  However, Dad is always impressed that his son is willing to tell him the truth about what has happened between he and Mom, and doesn't lie about anything, and is willing to admit to having the sense talked into him.  This doesn't make the rage any less, but it does give Dad something to focus on to help pull him out of the rage, and reminds him that his son is growing up well, despite the poor choices he makes upon occasion. 
 
Sometimes, Mom involves Dad by telling him what has happened.  She, too, will tell Dad the truth without embellishment.  Dad will get less rageful at these times, because he feels like his wife is talking things through with him, which he feels is a good way for her to take care of herself and their kid.  Dad will feel defensive of Mom, and fights feeling overly-defensive which causes him to offer solutions when he is only being asked to listen.  He also fights flying off the handle at Paul while talking to Mom, making Mom feel defensive of Paul.  Dad walks a fine line during these times, and has found that, when he's able, having an open ear and mind while calming the adrenaline and emotions is best for everyone involved.  When Mom and Dad are in the same physical place, Mom will often tell Dad about what has gone on and then punctuate her visit with him by violently kissing Dad on the lips, as if she's taking out part of her aggression on Dad's lips.  Dad likes those times and finds Mom very sexy then.  He is turned on.
 
This is all part of the Cycle.
It happens often, minimally once a month.
And, to some degree, I think it's natural, albeit uncomfortable.
 
What I would like to do is find something that could help Mom deal with Paul, so that she doesn't lose her temper or get mad.  I wish I could think of something that would prevent her from getting that frustrated.

Maybe there isn't anything.  Maybe the best I can do is be there for her on the other end of the phone, or on the other side of the bed.  Maybe the best thing I can do is nothing. 

I wish, though, that I could fix it all.
And then Mom and Dad could go back to that kissing part.  That's the good part.