Zebra Lady

The following is not my case, but was emailed to me from one of my coworkers from his caseload. It is a real person who has applied for disability in The United States of America.

The [Lady] arrived late for her appointment in a manic mood. She claims she is pregnant by a zebra. When asked to sit down, she states "No, I don't want to hurt my zebra baby." On a few occasions, [Zebra Lady] demonstrated poor boundaries [with her doctor] as illustrated by the statements: "are you going to ask me out for a drink, I'm able to talk about my problems much better when I'm drinking." And, "why did you leave the door open? Are you afraid I'm going to put my hands on you, you don't have to worry... I'm not attracted to you." When asked if she has any allergies, she answers "men". When asked if she has suicidal thoughts, she said "of course not... why would I want to hurt myself. I'm beautiful!"

Man, I wish I had the same kind of self-confidence as a chick who isn't attracted to doctors, talks about her problems openly when you take her to the bar, fucks zebras, and fosters non-human embryos in her womb.

So this Zebra Child... waddaya think... head of a human, body of a zebra? Zebra head, but human body? Enormous zebra penis? When you walk behind him, will you have to pat his haunches so that you don't startle him and he kicks you with his enormously powerful zebra hoofs? Will the X-Men recruit him and what will his super hero name be?! Zebra Boy! Zebran! The Stripe!

Happy Thursday!