Re-fucking-lax

On a regular basis, I read disability applications from parents who claim their children are disabled because of speech delays. Now, maybe it's just me being all thinky and whathaveyou, but I'm not gonna freak out about my kid having a speech delay if he hasn't even turned 2 yet. I'm serious: more parents than you might think apply for disability for their not-yet-two-year-old child because of speech delay.

Ok, so let's say that these people AREN'T trying to scam the taxpayers of their country, and let's say they AREN'T trying to get money for nothing, and let's say that they AREN'T filthy, fucking liars, because there's nothing we can do about any of that. Let's start from a baseline of compassion and say They Are Trying To Care For Their Child.

Taking all of that into consideration, I would like to know why we aren't better educated so that parents know that, even if their child has a speech impediment-- even a severe one-- their child is not COMPLETELY UNABLE TO WORK because of that impediment? Especially a 1-year-old!! How fucking stupid are we, as a country, that we apply for disability for these reasons, we are allowed to apply for disability for these reasons, we allow people to apply for disability for these reasons, we don't teach people that it's fantastically wasteful to apply for disability for these reasons, and we actually debate if we should cut funding to our education programs??!! How fucking dumb are we??!!

I wanna make a graph of just how stupid we are. Something that can chart our monumental stupidity as a nation, maybe as a species. You know, where the Y axis is something like "Amount of Stupidity (in decigrams)" and the X axis is a timeline in years, starting back with Adam and Eve. I'm going to say that there simply isn't enough paper or ink to chart just how fucking stupid we are, because here's the deal: Adam fucked Eve, and they made two boys. One boy killed the other one (I can never remember if it was Cane or Abel, but it doesn't matter, really), so now there are three people on the planet-- only ONE of them has a Human-Bearing Womb. From those three people, the planet was populated. SOOOOOO... everyone came from incest. Pure and simple. And from THAT fine stock to choose from, God selected the MOST Un-Dumb, Noah, to spare. God was SO unhappy with everyone, that he decided to kill all the animals, just cuz they were hanging out with all us dumb fuckers. So Incesty Noah brought along his Incesty Wife-Of-Noah, and their immediate Incesty Family. The rest of the world dies in a flood. The water drains, and Incesty Noah and his Brood of Genetic Mutations proceed to populate the planet, and here we are. Just the product of millennia of Moms fucking their kids, Dads fucking their daughters, Brothers fucking their Sisters, Infants fucking the Wombs They Popped Out Of... and from all of that, you get legislation stating that science isn't real and we need to teach Creation as a reality... which says that we're all the product of incest because God couldn't figure out that mothers and sons fucking each other was a bad idea. How limited is your fucking God?! He can't even look down and go, "Oops! Eve is supposed to populate the Earth with only her husband and son's seed! I gotta make a few more chicks to prevent horrible diseases and disgusting sexual acts!" And then *bamf* or *bonk* or *thunk* or whatever celestial noise God makes when he plucks ribs from dudes to create chicks... he makes more wombs to prevent unwanted incest babies and genetic mistakes. This is the God people fight and die for. This is the God people created and condemn others for not believing in.

...where the fuck was i?...

Oh right, we're all a bunch of idiots. A plague on this planet. The sooner the huge asteroid crashes into us and ends us the better the universe will be. Until that time, I'm gonna make every effort to move away from this Sinkhole of Humanity where I live. Maybe Australia would be a good place to move to. They're chill there. Or The Netherlands. They get it there.

Don't apply for disability if your child can't speak at age 1. Just wait for a second. Take a nap. Drink a beer. Relax, motherfucker. Just. Relax.