Grant and The Giant

The Giant never stopped urinating on The Village.

It's a bit unusual that any creature could maintain a continuous stream of urine for so long, but The Giant was able to. He never moved. He stayed planted, towering over The Village, raining urine down upon them. At one point, he knew why he was doing it, but now, he couldn't really remember. And he didn't really care.

The Villagers had become accustomed to the urine rain. They had invested in umbrellas and slickers and other urine-resistant and deodorizing products. One of the local retailers had an annual "Slicker-Off!", a competition centered around slickers -- who had the best slicker, who had the driest slicker, who could put on and take off their slicker the most in a minute, who's slicker had the biggest titties.

Grant often found himself thinking about The Giant with disgust. He didn't like being urinated on all the time. He looked up, and got urine in his eyes and mouth. "It's all about where you choose to focus," his mother would tell him. "When you focus on the ground, do you get urine in your eyes and mouth?" Grant looked at the ground often, but there was still the occasional run-off urine that fell into his eyes and mouth. He knew his mother was trying to help him, but it didn't take his mind off The Giant and Grant's anger and frustration. Grant's wife hugged him and said things like, "I don't want to feel anger over being urinated on anymore, so I'm going to focus on what I am ABLE to do, rather than what I'm UNABLE to do. I'm able to support you and love our children." Grant was immeasurably grateful for a wife who put up with his ridiculousities. But Grant found himself drawn to the stream of urine that covered The Village. He wanted to do something. He wanted to change the world for the better. And he felt sad and frustrated because he didn't know WHAT he could do.

He believed in the power of one person. He believed that the strength of one person could make a difference. On good days, after he had gotten some sleep and had actually eaten some protein and leafy greens, he believed in the power of himself.

So Grant decided that he was going to travel to The Giant and cut off his dick.

Now you get to decide how the story ends! Choose one of the following endings!

1. Grant hiked towards The Giant and died from exposure before he reached the second week of his journey.


2. Grant hiked towards The Giant, and all The Villagers laughed and taunted his folly, and one of them threw a rock at his head and killed him dead.


3. Grant hiked towards The Giant for four months, and when he arrived, The Giant squished Grant underfoot like a bug.


4. Grant hiked to The Giant, climbed up his leg and was squished between The Giant's thigh and left testicle like a bug underball.


5. Grant hiked to The Giant, climbed up his leg, got to his dick, and The Giant scratched his nuts and flicked Grant into the forest, where Grant broke all his bones on all the trees he crashed into and died alone in the forest.


6. Grant tried to drink as much beer as he could to forget about The Giant, but accidentally got some urine in his mouth, contracted hepatitis, and died yellow.


7. Grant got frustrated and yelled and screamed and shouted and moaned and cried and got tired and went to sleep and got up and did the same thing, day after day, until he had no friends or family who would put up with him anymore because he was just no fun and continually reminded people of how they were getting pissed on.


8. Grant .................................................................................................?