Random Sequence Of Events

I have received a call on my cell phone today.  Twice.  Neither time did the caller leave a message.

So I Googled the phone number.  It's for a doctor.
A Christian-based doctor who provides Christian-based health care.
("Take two nails in your wrists and call me after the ascension."... I still got it!)

So after a little bit of time worrying about it, I thought it might be a doctor trying to call me to tell me my father is dead.  My father, after all, is married to a staunch Christian, and he even converted to her religion in order to marry her.  And he's not dead yet (as far as I know).

However, my father and I haven't spoken for years.  At all.
And rather than break a winning streak and call him to see if he was dead, I thought I'd check Facebook.
"My dad is dead," would be the post from my sister.  Or "Like and repost if you lost your dad to morbid obesity like me" would be the post from my brother as some Li'l John song played.
But neither they nor my father's wife had any such posts.  Just a picture of my sister being kissed repeatedly by some child with a boner, saying "I love u forever and will never turn my back on u even if u do".  Definitely textbook definition of Forever Love.
My sister is friends with my wife, so I clicked on my wife, cuz she's rad.
And on my wife's page, I noticed that she had many less friends than the last time I checked her page.
She mentioned that she had unfriended some people, so I checked her friends to see who survived the cut.
One of the people who survived is a woman my wife works with who is very rude and abrasive to my wife.
So I clicked on her picture... cuz... I hate myself?
And while I was on her page, I noticed the name of the lawyer this co-worker had suggested my wife go to talk with a while ago when my wife was realizing nobody was going to help her.
My wife had told me this lawyer hadn't listened to her, had actively cut her off, told her she was making a big deal out of nothing, that she should pay the equivalent of two-week's salary to her ex-husband for child support even though he makes more than 10 times what she makes.
He was a classy guy deserving of urethra cancer.
So I clicked on his picture... cuz... I don't learn stuff quick?  And I hate myself more?

My wife met with this man and asked him for help.
He refused to listen or help.
Here's what he puts into the world on his Facebook page, which is very active:

On June 9th, he posted a graphic of protesters, surrounded by the words "One Million Bikers Protest in DC Not One Store Looted, Fire Set, or Officer Wounded."  His comment on this picture: "Think about it."

On June 3rd, he shared a photo from MIX 94.1.  The photo is of Bill Clinton waving to somebody out of the frame of the picture, and behind him stands Chelsea, smiling, with the words surround the graphic supposedly coming from her: "DAD!  Knock it off!  That's Bruce Jenner!"

On June 1st, he shared Conservative News Today's photo of the Statue of Liberty peaking out from behind a building above the words, "Obama gone yet?"

On June 1st, he shared The Comical Conservative's photo of people standing around a stop sign, with these words over the picture:
"How come
Black pride=ok
Mexican pride=ok
Asian pride=ok
Muslim pride=ok
White pride=Racist"
(my answer: cuz the signs the other folks hold up at their parades say things like "We survived slavery", "We survived shark-infested waters to paddle a raft made out of underpants to get here", "We survived being imprisoned during World War II for no reason except all you guys were afraid of the Japanese", and "We survived being prosecuted for the beliefs of extremists as well as being imprisoned without reason because the world got scared of us after September 11th", and the signs at the White Pride Parade say things like "The free wi-fi password at Starbucks isn't working on my iPenis" and "It's unfair that everybody else gets a parade and all we get is everything else"... I still got it!)

On May 20th, he shared The Revolution's photo of R. Lee Ermy dressed as his iconic drill sergeant character (which he actually was) that he played in the movie "Full Metal Jacket" yelling these words to us: "If you have a problem with law abiding citizens being armed then you are the reason law abiding citizens are armed."

On May 13th, he shared a link from allenbwest.com.  The picture shows two pictures, one black person labeled "NBA Rookie" and "$490,180" on the left, and one white person labeled "Army private" and "$18,564" on the right.  Above them are the words "You wanna talk 'Income Inequality?'", and below them are the words "Here's how to shatter THAT false narrative...".  The article goes on to talk about how the author just laughed and laughed at the ridiculousness of The Left's talking points about income inequality while he watched a basketball game and realized that all those "fellas" were millionaires, yet the people with the real jobs, the soldiers keeping us safe, get paid almost nothing.  And that, according to him, is why income inequality isn't a real thing.
(...ummmm... didn't you just prove that income inequality was a real thing... you fuck... ?)

On May 9th, he wrote this: "It is raining in Oklahoma.  I drove from Norman to Eufaula and back today.  Creeks were out of their banks, fields were flooded, people on horses are out playing water polo."
(...didn't even credit Carlin for stealing his joke, which was crafted much better and, also, might be considered funny...)

On May 6th, he wrote this: "We got about 4 inches of rain last night.  I need to know how long a cubit is and where I can get some Gopher Wood."
(...because directly after you get 4 inches of rain, you get 40 days and nights of deluge).


Did I mention that we moved into a house directly across our suburban street from the lawyer for my wife's ex?

I will be happy to leave this oppressively small and inbred state.