Language

In Spanish, "vaya con dios" means "go with god", while "vaya con dio" means "go with gave".

The plural of moose is moose.
The plural of mouse is mice.
The plural of goose is geese.

Loose louse lose is an actual sentence.

Apple is a fruit, a computer, and a human baby.

Sugar and honey are both sweeteners as well as terms of endearment, while syrup is just a sweetener.
Pudding is a dessert, while puddin' is a term of endearment.

Dessert is food. 
Desert is a land mass.
A deserter deserts, or leaves.
A desserter doesn't dessert, or eat desserts, because "desserter" is Danish for "desserts" and not an English word meaning "one who eat desserts", which it obviously should be.

If you have more than one person, you have people.
Many people create a crowd.
In America, one crowd IS correct.
In Britain, one crowd ARE correct.

"Go over there", "Go over their", and "Go over they're" all sound identical, yet only the first one is an actual sentence.  The second is, at best, incomplete.  The third is nonsense and pisses off my wife.

"Dogs" can refer to animals or human feet.
"Cats" can refer to animals or cool humans, often associated with jazz.
"...cats and dogs" means "a lot of rain" when coupled with the phrase "it's raining...". 

**Time out.  It would appear that the assignment of "cats and dogs" to the phrase is purely arbitrary, and could just as well be any other coupling of anything, which, by virtue of being said after the words "it's raining..." would come to mean "a lot of rain".  We might as well just say any of the following combinations of words.
"It's raining..."
...babies and yarn.
...saddle bags and day terrors.
...homies and poop.
...yak sushi and pie.
...purple und admonish.
...men and hallelujah.
...Time in.***

Tommy's bike is the bike belonging to Tommy, and we know that because of the apostrophe, while the tires belonging to the bike are its tires, sans apostrophe.

Blind people read Braille.
Hay comes in bales.
Criminals make bail.
So Christian Bale bails the baler reading Braille is something that might actually happen.

A train is a means of transportation, a length of dress or veil that drags on the ground behind the wearer, and a verb meaning to prepare for something. 

A plain plane on the plains is a no-frills, aerial means of transportation located in a place where the topography is generally flat and dusty.

We are taught that no mammal lays eggs.
Then we are taught a platypus is a mammal that lays eggs.



And we did ALL of this to ourselves!!!
What were we thinking?!
Why didn't we make it easier?!
We're in control!  It's not like we can't say, "okay, we fucked up.  What we meant was..."
How in the world have we managed to communicate with each other at all?!
And why the fuck do we care?!
Why do we subject our children to years of torture under teachers who are instructing them in insanity?!
Do we hate our children that much?!
And are we so monumentally fucked up that we seriously can't make up our minds about shit?!
Everything's gotta have an exception, nothing can be consistent!
All we're really saying is that we are grandly inconsistent and nobody's got the balls to straighten it all out.

We're all doomed.

-or-

We're awl doomed.

-or-

We is all doomed.