Fuck Off Shitty Bitch

i was gonna make some kind of smart, brainy comment about how my wife makes great greeting cards that are cool and great and each one is hand-crafted so each one is lovingly massaged into being by my wife's mind and talented hands.  i was gonna then say that her shitty co-worker is shitty, and have some kind of brainy way to scientifically prove her shitty co-worker should be shot. 

but i don't wanna work that hard for her shitty co-worker.  instead, it's pretty shitty that my wife has been creating cards for years now, and then you, Shitty Bitch, come along with your Crazy and decide, without any kind of go-ahead from the boss, that you're going to make crappy, shitty, ugly, pointless greeting cards for sale in the shop.  and i don't give a shit how many people are buying your shitty, ugly, diseased cards.  it doesn't mean they're better than my wife's.  here, i can think of lots of reasons why your cards might seem like they're selling better than my wife's cards.
1. you have made more cards than my wife, because you just scribble on your cards, and the sheer number of cards you have made covers my wife's cards, so people buy your cards because they don't realize there's something actually good underneath all your shit.
2. you have made more cards than my wife, so mathematically it's probable that you will sell more cards than she does simply because there's more of your shit.
3. you annoy the customers to the point where they just buy your shit in order to shut you up
4. you annoy the customers to the point where they just stop fighting you as you push one of your own cards into their hands
5. you're a flabby bitch with a mammoth labia that's really ugly and scrapes the dirt when you play tennis poorly
6. you know that most people in this state are idiots and you make cards for them, and they, like idiots, come and support the person who understands them
7. you swallow ape jism
8. you're a dumbass cunt
9. nobody likes you
10. your cards are shitty, but not as shitty as you, and you'll always be shitty, because you're shitty
11. you sell more cards because you put drugs in your cards, so all the crack addicts come and buy your crack cards
12. you love hitler
13. your brother was inside you a lot
14. you have no artistic merit and your nose is dumb
15. you sell more cards because you always turn the display rack so that people can't see my wife's cards, like Cinderella's step-mother... except you're much worse and smell like a bad thing
16. you sell more cards because you have made under-the-table deals with everybody in town and your sales aren't based on actual Goodness Of Cards but on illegal deals that will send you directly to hell
17. you're a bloodfart
18. you're an asshole
19. you should break your legs a lot with pain in front of me and I'll fucking laugh and laugh and laugh
20. i've shit better shitty artists than you, you fuck

there.
20 reasons why you're a dildo.
and, coincidentally, 20 reasons why your cards may seem like they're selling better than my wife's cards.
fuck off, Shitty Bitch.
Fuck.
Off.
Shitty.
Bitch.