freezing cold clamp

you ever find yourself looking at craigslist for used atari machines and you find one over 3 hours away from your house and they're asking for more money than you have to spend and yet you still text them to see if it's still available and when they respond their text says they're selling it for ten dollars more than their craigslist posting and you can't tell what games they're selling and so you ask them what games they're selling and just as you hit send you feel so much more supremely stupid than you already feel because you're not going to drive more than 3 hours to spend more money than you have to spend so you can get somebody's video game system from almost 40 years ago that you don't know if it works or not and you don't know if the controllers work or not and you don't really find pleasure in even thinking about it anymore let alone have the desire to try to play it anymore and you just feel so goddam stupid that the bottom of your skull right where it meets your head clamps up like somebody just tightened a freezing cold clamp on your head and you can smell the iron in your mouth as you taste blood and your nose stops up and you can't breathe anymore and you're just feeling like the biggest fucking idiot ever and you hope that they don't respond so you can just crawl back under your rock and be forgotten?  i do sometimes, too.