having a hard time letting go

i called.
was told she was in the shower.
i said i would stay on the line until she got out of the shower.
she said she would give her the message.
many years later, as she was getting married to somebody else, her mother told her that she was glad she never delivered the message from me.
i'm having a hard time letting go of that.

i taught at a school.
a student took one class from me and then stopped.
i created a show, created an opportunity for actors to perform.
and none of them showed up.
none of them even mentioned it in an email.
told me they couldn't promote it.
but i just read an email congratulating that one student of mine, a "former" student of the school, for booking a commercial.
i'm having a hard time letting go of that.

he told me that i should tell all the voices in my head that tell me
"you're not good enough"
to go away.
that ultimately, the answer is "it's bullshit."
but when i started paying attention to it, there were so many thoughts like that, it became overwhelming very quickly and i had to stop for fear of drowning.
i'm having a hard time letting go of that.