Respect and Titles

Around my office (and in the rest of the world I've been exposed to), if you're introduced to a doctor or you need to speak with a doctor, you address them as "Doctor".  As in, "Doctor Fuckstain, please remove your penis from my rectum."  This, from what I've been told, is a sign of respect.  You respect the doctor because... they've... gone to school for a long time and... that's worthy of respect.

My mother is a doctor.  My father is a doctor.  My step-mother is a doctor.  I am not a doctor.  I haven't even really finished my master's degree (from almost 20 years ago).  The only person out of those three people I respect enough to call "doctor" is my mother.  And I probably respect her more than those other two pieces of shit because she doesn't demand people call her doctor.  She worked harder to get her doctorate than either my father or step-mother.  She suffered through a job that disrespected her at every turn, paid her not enough money to live off of, and had to support my fat ass.  And she still became a doctor.  And she doesn't demand that people call her doctor.  Some of my friends call her doctor, and it's kinda weirdly nice to hear them say that, because I like it when other people give her the respect she is more than deserving of, but she certainly doesn't lead with her doctorate, and she doesn't introduce herself as "Doctor".  Probably because, in doing so, you intentionally elevate yourself.  "I have done work," you say to others, "and I demand you respect me for it."

I say fuck that shit, because it's completely fucked up.
People deserve respect.  Period.  No doctor deserves more respect than a garbage collector or a stay-at-home mother, or a social worker, or a teacher.  We.  All.  Deserve.  Respect.

So if I'm going to be forced to call doctors "doctors" just because they feel they are owed some amount of respect for the work-- good or bad-- which they did awarding them the title of doctor, I'm going to demand a title of my own.  "Mr." is too ordinary.  I think "God" will be sufficient.  From now own, I'm going to insist that people demonstrate the respect that I'm deserving of by referring to me with my title of "God".  In fact, my wife, my two children, my doctor mother, and my non-doctor step-father all have earned the pre-fix "God" before their names, and I will now demand that from people when I talk with them.
"Hello, Pedro Fuckstain."
"No, no, that's DOCTOR Fuckstain."
"Ah, yes.  Of course.  Please forgive me."
"Most certainly.  And you are?"
"I am God Blutt.  This is my wife, God Blutt.  My two boys, God Blutt, and over there is God Blutt.  My step-father, God Blutt.  And please shake hands with my mother, God Blutt."
"It's a pleasure to shake your hand, God Blutt."
"No, no, that's God DOCTOR Blutt to you, Fuckstain."