[One British Eater, munches crisps from a bag, standing in a kitchen. Another British Man is standing next to him. Light acoustic guitar melody lilts through this idyllic scene.]
Man: Hey, I’ve just noticed. You’ve been eating crisps all morning. Aren’t you afraid you’ll get fat?
Eater: No. I can eat as many of these as I’d like.
[Woman enters]
Woman: I can’t believe you’re stuffing your face with crisps again. You’ll only get fat, and then I’ll have to have another affair.
Eater: No, don’t worry. These won’t make me fat.
Woman: Why not? Are you bulimic?
Eater: No. It’s because these aren’t crisps, they’re Cressps. Peeker’s crisps take ordinary cress, the healthiest food in the world-- and that’s been confirmed-- and then deep fry it in crisp fat, so all the health is retained, which means I can eat as many Cressps as I’d like and just get healthier.
Woman: Wow. I’ll have some Cressps!
Man: I think I’ll pass, actually.
Announcer: Cressps! Once you Cressp, you just can’t splessp.
Man: That doesn’t make any sense.
[Eater spits out a mouthful of chewed Cressps]
Eater: Oh god, they’re horrid!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
As of today, this is STILL making me laugh. As my 16-year-old put it, it hit me in my funny sack. And I still continue to get sack-hit by it. Thank you, Mitchell and Webb! :)
ReplyDelete