Ok, I get it. Not everybody can hold it together 100% of the time. Husbands blow up at wives, mothers blow up at kids. My mother called me a “piss ant” once, probably because I was being a piss ant, but she has remained feeling badly about this, to some degree, ever since. And she is a fantastic mother with fantastic values and is an exemplary person. My point here is that Nobody Is Perfect.
I get it that the law shouldn’t be used to hurt people who slip up. My mother should not be punished in any way for calling me a piss ant. She should not be taken to court because I was being a piss ant and she was telling the truth.
The problem comes when you’re dealing with somebody who isn’t as exemplary as my mother. What if I hadn’t been a piss ant and she still called me a piss ant, and she continued to call me a piss ant every day? I guess my feeling about that is that she would be a jerk. But should the law become involved in that? I guess I believe the law shouldn’t become involved in that. As our lawyer said over and over, it’s not against the law to be an asshole.
But I feel like our specific situation is different. An individual has a history of emotional and psychological abuse towards his ex-wife and his kids.
…but legally, he doesn’t, because the kids said that they wanted to live with him half the time. So, according to the court, he hasn’t done anything wrong. Sure, he bribed them so that they would say that. And it’s unfortunate. But if I can buy you things (pay you) so that you say something (say what I want you to say), then I get my way. And ultimately, you get screwed.
Again, I find myself battling money and what it does to us. There was a point in time where both our boys wanted to be away from him. They wanted to live with us all the time because they both were miserable at their father’s house. We went to court based on what they wanted, at which point, Father started buying things for his boys. The amount of money that Father was dumping into making his boys feel happy when they both said they didn’t want to live with him anymore was outrageous. Both boys were getting $150 worth of Warhammer models every week. Articles of clothing, toys, books, video games, all kinds of Possessions were showered on those boys. I almost called them Gifts, but as we’ve seen recently, they weren’t gifts. They were Physical Things, not actually given to the boys so they could use them as if they were their own. They were Possessions that were given to the boys as long as the boys said and did the right things. If not, they were retained by Father. They were Bribes given to children too young to understand all the consequences of accepting bribes.
So the court believes Father to be fine, because the last time we went to court, the boys, sated with the comfort of Possessions they believed to be Gifts, said he was fine. How could anyone be horrible who gives me Warhammer models and tee-shirts? So the boys, unwittingly, crippled themselves. And their father encouraged them to do so. Over and over again.
Now no one will listen. And that is a horrible shame.
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