The Boat Is Sinking

The Boat springs a leak, which is brought to the attention of the captain. The captain announces to the people that the boat is damaged and we run the risk of sinking in the freezing water if we don’t fix the leak soon. Menlo, a politician, addresses the people.


“This boat has a leak, and we need to work hard to fix it. I can lead you in a way that will allow all of us to continue to enjoy this boat as long as we all work hard!” The people applaud. Lonem, another politician, addressed the people.

“It’s too bad that Menlo has insulted all of us by calling this ship a boat. There’s nothing wrong with boats, but something as mighty as this is quite obviously a ship, and it’s a shame that the man leading us doesn’t see how great, mighty and big we are. And he wants you to work harder. You didn’t make the problems, and Menlo certainly can’t fix them. That’s why you need to vote for me!” And the people applaud. Menlo addresses the people.

“I have made a task force to look into the problems we are facing. These people are trying to figure out how to make things better. And in creating this task force, I have created jobs! Lonem hasn’t worked a day in his life, so he doesn’t’ understand what you and I know, that we have to work to get problems fixed! And together we can do just that!” The people applaud.

“Menlo couldn’t fix the problems himself,” says Lonem. “And that’s why he says we all need to help out. How insulting to think that I have to play clean-up after he breaks everything. You don’t need to clean up your mess and somebody else’s mess, do you? Of course not! And when you vote for me to lead you, you won’t have to clean up after anyone else!”

“Lonem hasn’t cleaned up after anyone, ever! He had a nanny clean up after everything he’s ever done, because he’s super rich and didn’t work for it!”

“Menlo isn’t really a citizen! And he wants us to work together to fix something we didn’t break!”

“Lonem doesn’t know how to build a boat or a ship. In fact, most of us don’t. If you’re enjoying prosperity here, you didn’t build it, somebody else helped create what you’re enjoying with you. No single one of us built this ship, but we’re enjoying it together, and together we can keep it running!”

“Did you hear what he said?! He said that you didn’t build what you’ve built! He said that you aren’t industrious, and he is where the American Dream goes to die! He’s killing all of us! Vote for him and vote for death! Death, I tells ya! DEATH!”

“Are you kidding me? Lonem doesn’t understand what it means to work, so he honestly believes he created everything. He doesn’t understand what you’re going through because he owns a horse!”


About that time, The Boat sank. And as people on The Boat died because nobody took action to fix the leak in time, all the politicians continued to blame each other, as they floated away from the sunken Boat on life rafts made and bought with taxes collected from the people of The Boat, who lay dead and dying on the ocean floor beneath the verbose, impotent politicians.