My Friend Is Leaving. Fuck Him.

My best work friend put in his two week notice today.  He got another job last week.

I'm jealous that he'll be leaving.  I want to leave, too.
I'm jealous that he'll be making more money.  I want to make more money, too.
I'm angry that he won't be at work anymore.  I asked him questions about my job so that I wouldn't have to go to my supervisor and ask the questions.  My supervisor yells at you and makes you feel super small and stupid when you ask questions.  My work friend never does.
I'm sad.  I will miss him.
I'm anxious.  He was a good walking buddy during our two fifteen-minute breaks each day.  He gave me a really good excuse as to why I wasn't socializing with anyone else.  Everyone else in this office... is... weird.  And I don't want to do anything with them.
I fucking hate it that he's leaving and I'm not.
And it doesn't feel right to say that I'm made at him.
I guess I'm mad that my situation isn't different.
I want to be making more money.
I want to be doing something I like doing.
I want to be well-rested, rejuvenated, alive.
I want to wake up and have those things be a constant, a baseline, a place where I normally start.
I want to like my days.
I want to like the majority of my time awake.
Right now, I just feel tired and want it all to stop.
And my friend leaving just makes my life a little bit harder.
Fuck.