To the people standing right outside my office, talking in loud, loud voices making it impossible to concentrate on anything other than them...

SHUT THE FUCK UP!
I don't give a good goddam about your fucking babies and your fucking fertility shit and how you just got "diagnosed with twins"! You don't have a goddam neck! Get a goddam neck and shut the fuck up!
And quit breathing so loudly, you obese, loud-breathing fuck! I hate everything you are! I wanna punch you in the face with a bazooka! Shut up!
I'm gonna wait 15 years.
I'm gonna stalk you.
I'm gonna wait until your twins are eating hot dogs and ice cream.
And then I'm going to beat the shit out of them.
And I'm going to jam a hot dog up each of their noses.
And smudge ice cream in their stupid hair.
And when they ask me why I'm doing this, I'm going to say,
"BECAUSE YOUR FUCKING FAT NECKLESS MOTHER WOULDN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

...i think i'm done now...