My T-Shirt Idea

I'm a really good teacher. And what I taught, I did for a living for a long time. I was good at it.

My mother is a phenomenal piano teacher. She plays piano on a regular basis for public performances of all kinds.

My father sucks as a teacher. He taught mathematics to children and adults at the collegiate level. I've taken shits that could teach me more than my father. He didn't do anything with mathematics other than teach it.

My step-mother sucks as a teacher. She taught anatomy. She was as competent as a sack of hair. She never performed a surgery or an autopsy in her life. The only anatomy she ever saw was either presented to her in a jar or presented to her in a textbook. She also taugh speech pathology. Her almost-10-year-old daughter has speech that's as intelligible as a steak sandwich. My sister's mother sucks as a teacher. Period.

I think all teachers should be required to DO what it is they TEACH.

Then, besides completely disregarding the damage my father and step-mother have done to many individuals in the name of education, we could get rid of those incredibly ignorant and asinine "Those who can, do -- Those who can't, teach" T-shirts.

I'd like to change the shirt to say, "Those who can teach, do. Those who can't teach are as worthless and harmful as my father and step-mother. Kill them, now, with your large truck."

Yeah... I like that.