i don't get it. and i'm sick of it.
i'm scared to do anything!
i started to write a song.
my wife told me it was really good.
i can't go any further with it.
i'm stuck.
and it's not for a lack of ideas.
it's almost like i don't want to go any further BECAUSE it might be good.
or i don't want to go any further because it might suck.
no matter what the outcome, i don't want to go further.
but i really DO want to go further.
i want to write songs again!
i want to write scenes again!
i want to be funny again!
i'm so sick of this stasis!
it's driving me absolutely infuckingsane!
if it's a good song, then what happens?
something.
and if something happens, then what happens?
something.
and it leads me back to the boat.
where people were mean as fuck.
and they made me feel like shit.
like i was the worst person ever.
she used to say, "nobody on this boat likes you."
he used to say, "you're really rude."
they both reported back.
and i started at the ground level again.
and then the new york show.
i feel like i let down the director and the cast.
we should have gotten some kind of award.
or, if i had been better, we would've been picked up by some producer.
but i wasn't good enough.
yeah, i got good reviews.
but i wasn't good enough.
and now, i'm scared out of my mind to do any of that again.
but i really, really, really want to.
and then i think about going to talk with somebody.
some professional somebody.
and i think about how stupid everyone is in this state.
and i think about how our court case has gone so far.
and i think about the stupid therapist who said, "but he said you were communicating better."
goddammit! how much evidence do you need to understand he's a liar!
he's done it IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES!
HE DID IT IN THE DEPOSITION!
AND SOMEHOW, THIS GOES UNNOTICED BY THE IDIOTS THAT POPULATE THIS STATE!
how am i supposed to receive help from somebody who is dumber than me?
and so...
i'm fucking stuck.
better than everyone.
and, simultaneously, worse than everyone.
i belong in a padded cell.
i don't want to sleep with my brother when he comes over.
i want to sleep with my wife.
but i don't want him to be uncomfortable.
and i want him to be able to do whatever he wants in the morning.
and, left to my own devices, i'm gonna sleep for 80 years.
so, i almost need to sleep in a public place, at least.
my brother.
what a douche.
...not really...
his brother is... stupid.
stupid and scared of every goddam thing.
just a giant pussy.
i'm scared to do anything!
i started to write a song.
my wife told me it was really good.
i can't go any further with it.
i'm stuck.
and it's not for a lack of ideas.
it's almost like i don't want to go any further BECAUSE it might be good.
or i don't want to go any further because it might suck.
no matter what the outcome, i don't want to go further.
but i really DO want to go further.
i want to write songs again!
i want to write scenes again!
i want to be funny again!
i'm so sick of this stasis!
it's driving me absolutely infuckingsane!
if it's a good song, then what happens?
something.
and if something happens, then what happens?
something.
and it leads me back to the boat.
where people were mean as fuck.
and they made me feel like shit.
like i was the worst person ever.
she used to say, "nobody on this boat likes you."
he used to say, "you're really rude."
they both reported back.
and i started at the ground level again.
and then the new york show.
i feel like i let down the director and the cast.
we should have gotten some kind of award.
or, if i had been better, we would've been picked up by some producer.
but i wasn't good enough.
yeah, i got good reviews.
but i wasn't good enough.
and now, i'm scared out of my mind to do any of that again.
but i really, really, really want to.
and then i think about going to talk with somebody.
some professional somebody.
and i think about how stupid everyone is in this state.
and i think about how our court case has gone so far.
and i think about the stupid therapist who said, "but he said you were communicating better."
goddammit! how much evidence do you need to understand he's a liar!
he's done it IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES!
HE DID IT IN THE DEPOSITION!
AND SOMEHOW, THIS GOES UNNOTICED BY THE IDIOTS THAT POPULATE THIS STATE!
how am i supposed to receive help from somebody who is dumber than me?
and so...
i'm fucking stuck.
better than everyone.
and, simultaneously, worse than everyone.
i belong in a padded cell.
i don't want to sleep with my brother when he comes over.
i want to sleep with my wife.
but i don't want him to be uncomfortable.
and i want him to be able to do whatever he wants in the morning.
and, left to my own devices, i'm gonna sleep for 80 years.
so, i almost need to sleep in a public place, at least.
my brother.
what a douche.
...not really...
his brother is... stupid.
stupid and scared of every goddam thing.
just a giant pussy.
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