Fun Family

I really enjoy my family.

At work, we’re deciding where we’re going to go for our monthly team lunch. It’s a longer lunch than normal—an hour and a half—and it’s something that I look forward to every month. This month, my team wants to try Chinese food, so it’s been suggested that we go to Pei Wei. Which takes me back to my family.

We have a running bit about the name Pei Wei. Yes, we understand that everybody pronounces it “pay way”, but we feel there’s very little empirical evidence that would prove that’s the correct pronunciation. And most of us (read: all of us except when our 14-year-old is trying to pretend that he’s too grown up to be silly), prefer the pronunciation “pee wee”. It makes us think of stuff and junk and then we giggle. And, of course, once you change the pronunciation once, you have to see if there are other ways of saying those words. “Pie why” is one, “peh-eye weh-eye” is another, I’m pretty sure that somebody (maybe me) has even bandied about “poo woo”. It’s terrifically fun to be silly.

We were talking in the van yesterday about fecal fetish. Used to be people just let their dogs shit wherever. You take the dog for a walk. The dog shits. You both walk away. Now, people carry around bags to pick up the steamy shit and carry it with them. What in the world is that about?! Yeah, I get it: it’s polite to not leave your shit on somebody else’s lawn… but picking up your dog’s shit is just boag. Really. It is. And as we’re having this conversation, it makes me think about somebody in my family saying “fecal matter”, so I mentioned that to the van. They unanimously agreed it was my mother, which it probably was. My father didn’t talk about anything, so I wouldn’t have gotten any words from him. My mother scienced up everything—penis, vagina, urination, erection, ejaculation, politician—these were all proper words that I had to find alternates for—dick, poon, pee, boner, spooge, lying fucktard. And as we all giggled at my mother saying “fecal matter” to me as a youth, I smiled knowing that she would probably laugh along with us were she in the van.

My family pretty much rocks. And I got to help my 10 year old learn how to go down a grassy hill on his brand new bike yesterday. We were hot and sweaty and he did it twice, and it was great to see him achieve that. Yeah, I like my family.