You're Not An Artist!

Artists get a bad rap because everybody in the world claims that they're an artist. And then they try to prove it by painting something or drawing something or playing the riff from "Smoke On The Water" for you, as if to say, "See, I'm a true guitar player."

All these people suck and they make me sick. You're a tourist, alleging to live in the city you're visiting. You're a fake and a liar and trying to make yourself bigger than you are because you know that being an artist makes you deep and unique and individual, but you're too goddam gutless to actually try it, so you go to your fucking day job and you work to collect people's overdue phone bills and then, at night, you slink away to your home that looks like everybody elses home and you try to play guitar and you give yourself a goddam boner because you're able to play a passable passage from a rock song. You're worse than shit. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

And quit sending me your poser shit in my email of the stupid BBQ sandwich that is supposed to cheer me up and make me happy that I'm going to the stupid break room to eat your stupid BBQ sandwich! I hate BBQ sandwich and I hate you!