We Work So Hard

Aerial shot of a city and its bustling traffic.  The supportive, warm VOICE OVER understands us as he speaks to us off camera.

VOICE OVER

We work to get money.

Shots of doctors working on sick people, mechanics working on sick cars, teachers working on sick/stupid children.  VOICE OVER continues.

 

VOICE OVER

And we use that money to make our lives more comfortable.

Shots showing the progression of comfort, with an audio "ding" when a new shot appears: (ding) a mud hut, (ding) a shack, (ding) a starter home with peeling paint, (ding) a nice, single story home with nice landscaping, (ding) a mansion with multiple stories and tiled roofing, and a pool in the front yard.  Next progression: (ding) a tricycle, (ding) a bicycle, (ding) a motorcycle, (ding) a red Honda Civic, looking sporty and rad, (ding) a stretch limo.  Next progression: (ding) a jar of baby food, (ding) solid carrots on a plate, (ding) carrots with fish on a plate, (ding) a bowl of hot soup sitting next to a plate of fish with carrots and a glass of milk, (ding) everything stays the same, but the milk is replaced with red wine.  Cut to black, where VOICE OVER continues.

 

VOICE OVER 

Ultimately, all the work we do is to get us as close to this as we can get.

Fade up on a clean, warm, idyllic beach, where a BEAUTIFUL MAN lies in a hammock.  His body is beautiful, complete with well-defined abs, and he drinks a glass of blue-green/green-blue liquid with ice that looks refreshing and delicious.  His entirely white Speedo doesn't look the least bit uncomfortable, but rather looks like it's the most natural, wonderful garment in the world.  Next to him is a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, lying in her own hammock, sipping her own refreshing drink.  Her perfectly-shaped and -sized breasts are nicely visible under her white bikini top that she wears like a second skin, and there is slight definition in her leg muscles, showing us that her body functions as well as it looks.  BEAUTIFUL MAN looks right at us.

 

BEAUTIFUL MAN

My life consists of steak and orgasms.  And I never have to get up to go to the bathroom.

Cut to BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, looking right at us.

 

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

He not only listens but he understands me.  And I always cum at least twice.

 

VOICE OVER

Wouldn't it be nice to just have this without all the work?  Well now you can!  Introducing Bomb.

BEAUTIFUL MAN

Bomb?

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

What's that?

A large bomb appears on the beach.  It is red and white and says "Bomb" on it.

VOICE OVER

Bomb is a weapon that eliminates everybody and everything from the planet.  Simply set it to "explode"...

A hand reaches over to Bomb and rotates a dial from "off" to "explode".  An explosion occurs, obliterating the planet and everything on it.  We see and hear a massive explosion that continues through the following.

VOICE OVER

...and everybody will be exploded.  You won't have to worry about money, bills, clothing, kids, presents, braces, prison sentences, drug overdoses, kittens, serpents and hats, hillbillies, water chestnuts, border crossing guards, shoes, blisters, rollers, beatniks, hearing aids, flippers.  Everything will be gone, and you can relax knowing you have no responsibilities.

Zoom in on Bomb on the beach.

 

VOICE OVER

Bomb!

A ding is heard, and two plastic paddles appear, tapped to the side of Bomb.

 

VOICE OVER

Now with plastic applicators.

 

Black out.