eat a dick motherfucker

You know what?

I hate daylight savings time.
But only the one where I have to spring forward.
I would give up the one where I fall back if I didn't have to deal with springing forward.
I fucking hate springing forward.

You know what else?

I hate doctors.
Mostly all of them.
My mother is a doctor.  She's cool.
But all the rest can eat a dick.
A Big Poisonous Dick.
Well, maybe not Dr. Bell.  He hasn't really done anything worthy of death.
But the rest... Big Poisonous Dick Eat.
All of them.

And I hate Nazis.
They all fucking suck.
Who hears the words "Let's kill all the Jews because we're better than them" and says, "yeah, I wanna sign up with that club!"???
Stupid fucking Nazis, that's who.
I hate 'em.

I hate sick people.
No because they're sick, but because I deal with them all day long.
It would be like dealing with chocolate all day long.  After a while, you would hate chocolate, too.
Or if you had to deal with money all day long...
Speaking of which, I fucking hate money.
Mostly because I don't have it.
So I guess I fucking hate the shit I gotta deal with because I don't have money.  And I blame money for the shit I gotta deal with because it's not in my pocket. 
Fucking money.

I hate my wife's ex-husband.
That abusive fuck.
And her mother.
That abusive fuck.
I hate them both.

And I hate the IRS.
I don't have any money, IRS!
But you want me to send you a report telling you how little money I have, so that you can tell me I owe money to you, you fucking fuck!
I hate the IRS!

And fucking clear fiberglass splinters!
I fucking hate those!

And video game levels that aren't any fun because they're so hard!  Those fucking blow!  Video games are supposed to be fucking fun!  When you make them so hard that they're not fun anymore, they're Not Fun Anymore!  What's the fucking deal, video games?!

And nightmares are fucking stupid!  I fucking hate them!

And what's the deal with fat??  That's fucking stupid and should have gone a long time ago!  I fucking hate that!

And the phrase "lifestyle disease", which is closely followed by "heart disease" and "diabetes".  Nothing like seeing a sick person and then saying, "well, if you had made different lifestyle choices, you wouldn't be sick now."  The fucking person is sick now, it doesn't help anything to tell them it's their fault!  Make them better, fuckers!  God, you're so fucking stupid and unhelpful!

I hate Christian pop music!  That shit is a fucking lie!
It sounds like pop music...
But then it starts talking about Jesus shit, and ruins everything!
Like an errant peanut in an otherwise delicious hot fudge sundae.
Keep your fucking myth-music to your myth-believing selves, Christians!

I fucking hate the word "irregardless"!
And "probably"!
And "incandescent"!
And "supossebly"!
And "travesty"!
Fucking fuck words!

And I fucking hate child support and lawyers and exs and children and mean horrible ugly fucking people and trapped trapped trapped and i don't know how to fucking get out or move forward or change from where i am and i don't know what to do and i cry all the time about everything and there isn't any hope or help or anything and i just want to go away and not see anyone ever so that i don't have to explain how everything is so much worse in the world than anybody will ever tell you it is food doesn't taste good and sleep isn't restful and nothing matters and it's all pointless and nobody really understands and people are the fucking worst and i can't get my computer disk back and my whirligig has been dented for years and my car and home repairs and a room for a kid that isn't really there anymore and a wife who is still mourning that kid not being there anymore and her husband who sees too goddam much of his own stupid stupid stupid choices in the kid's choices and gets mad at the kid for being a stupid kid but doesn't say anything because i know it's fucking stupid and i'm fucking stupid and it's only going to get better when i leave but i'm not going to be able to leave because we can't save any money so five years is going to turn into ten more years of living across the street from the goddam fucking lawyer who doesn't give a shit about hurting my family or helping others to hurt my family and he should fucking die and those he helps should die and i just want to cry until it's over and i can't get it all out enough there's too goddam much of it and it's so overfuckingwhelming that it clouds every other aspect of my life to the point where i can't want a movie or tv anymore and really understand what's going on and i can't focus at work because my head is cloudy and my eyes don't really see the things i'm seeing and i can't go see a doctor because they'll just tell me i'm a victim of fucking lifestyle diseases and if only i had made different choices i wouldn't be in this position now kinda like when that stupid fucking cunt lawyer told my wife that she should have gotten a lawyer when she got divorced well golly cunt fuck where the fuck were you when my wife was getting divorced?  oh yeah, you were standing in line for Sentences To Say To People In The Future Which Aren't Helpful And Only Prove What A Useless Human You Truly Are you should've been afuckingborted you stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid.  god fucking dammit.  there's too much hate and frustration and god dammit.  this was supposed to be a funny little rant.  i fucking hate you.