Postponed Appointment With The Therapist

Our 16-year-old has an appointment to talk with his father today. This appointment is to take place with his therapist. He has said, in the past, that talking with his father is aided when he’s able to do it with the therapist in the room. She helps him express himself and facilitates communication (supposedly).


Recently, he has stated that even talking with his father with the therapist is pointless. Nothing happens, and there’s no point in talking with his father, as no change ever occurs.

Today, our 16-year-old was scheduled to talk with his father about his living schedule. For one month now, his father has not picked up our 16-year-old for his visitation time. He hasn’t told my wife why this is happening. Our 16-year-old believes it’s forever. Now our 16-year-old just wants to go over to his father’s house and get some belongings that are still over there. And his cat.

Prior to this meeting, the father wanted to attack my wife (primarily) and our 16-year-old (secondarily) for not including him in the decision to send our 16-year-old to driver’s education classes. Our 16-year-old and my wife have been attempting to talk with him about this for six months. He has said, literally, nothing to either of them about this subject. Then, when they actually take care of the issue themselves, he sends emails to the therapist—six, in total—regarding this atrocity. The “atrocity”, of course, is that he was circumvented by my wife and his 16-year-old, and his unwillingness to talk about a subject was not successful in making that subject go away or completely stop. Not talking is his biggest weapon. For those who believe in talking, the act of not talking, typically, shuts them down and makes them powerless. His tactic of not talking has worked on my wife, both his sons, 4 lawyers, one mother, one father, and a slew of people who used to identify themselves as friends to my wife. If somebody wants to talk with you, you are in power and remain that way as long as they want to talk with you.

So my wife sent an email to the therapist, saying that the father had 6 months to talk about driver’s education. He refused. This issue is dead. The most pressing issue right now is where our 16-year-old is going to be living, in what capacity, and how will he have access to his belongings and cat. This issue has not been discussed, and needs to be resolved before causing any more distress to our 16-year-old. My wife is not upset about driver education. Our 16-year-old is not upset about driver education. His instructors have told him that he’s performing well-above the average and suggested he take his permit test early. They are not upset about his driver education. The only one upset is the father. It is his problem alone. However, the issue of our 16-year-old’s living situation needs to be addressed.



Today our 16-year-old had an appointment scheduled with his father and his therapist.

His father texted my wife less than 2 hours before the scheduled appointment, stating that he rescheduled the appointment for next Tuesday.

Again, not talking.

I am convinced that if the meeting actually happens, it will not be productive. My wife and 16-year-old continue to talk like it’s a possibility that his cat will come live with us. They continue talking like it’s a possibility to he will get his belongings from his father’s house. If any of this actually happens, it will be completely against all history or knowledge of the individuals involved.  In other words, there is no logical reason to believe these things.

And, in all fairness, things have happened that go against all logical reason.

In my opinion, it would be best for our 16-year-old and my wife to forget about the possessions.  Either that, or else go over there and have our 16-year-old enter the house and simply take the things and the pet without saying anything. I believe this will be the only way the things come over to our house. And I do not believe this will happen.

It would be nice if I didn’t care about any of this. Really it would.
But I do.
Fuck.