Gotta Get Motivated

Gotta get motivated.
Gotta get my script written. Shit, not just "script" but "scriptS".
Sundance is around the corner and I've lost my camera man.
Anybody wanna be a camera operator?
Can't rely on you. I don't know you.
Gotta get motivated.
Do something.
"If you don't like it, change it."
Listen to the music.
Let it help you. Push you forward.
Don't give in to the voices.
Walk. You gotta get out.
It starts with the first walk.
And that becomes the first walk of your second day.
And that becomes the first walk of your third day.
Just walk.
You'll lose weight if you walk.
And you'll be happier.
Gotta get motivated.
Sell your classes.
People talk about them.
Probably still do.
You're good. And you know you're good.
So what if the idiots don't see that?
So what if they never see that?
Since when should an idiot keep you down?
Talk to people about what you have to offer.
You offer classes. You have a plan. You have the experience.
You're not asking for a handout.
Just an opportunity.
Call your mother.
There's something you need to talk with her about.
Get on the ball. Why can't you keep it all straight?
Don't beat up on yourself and don't listen to those voices.
Gotta get motivated.
Need that lottery.
NEED that lottery.
It will happen with that lottery.
All of it will happen, but it will happen significantly sooner with $252 million.
Okay, so you take out the amount for selecting the lump sum= $126 million.
Now take out taxes (1/3)= $84 million.
That's what we'll have on Wednesday.
Eighty. Four. Million. Dollars.
And school loans are gone.
And credit score is returned to normal.
And we could own our house and paint the walls.
And paint the garage.
And make that house comfortable to hold all four of us.
And I could get an oil change.
And get the door paint on my car fixed.
And I could stop worrying about how we're going to afford to feed ourselves in a month.
Will my wife and I have to eat Ramen noodles again? Nope.
84,000,000.
Dollars.
And Captain Butt-Puss is still there, but I'm certain that there are groups of people who could be purchased to march outside of his house with signs and chanting slogans about how the world would be a better place if he was to treat his children with respect and stop hurting the people he's supposed to care about.
And my mother gets taken care of. No more worries for her.
And no more worries for the boys. Either of them.
They can go to college if they want. They don't have to worry about affording that.
And my wife and I get a bedroom.
Just hit those numbers.
That's all that needs to happen.
And it all goes away.
Melts like your sugar in your bowl of raisin bran.
And it's all gone.
And I would workout just like I used to.
And get back the body that I was working to build.
And I could HIRE a camera operator.
And crew.
And I could make the big movie.
And I could stop working so that I could make the smaller movies.
And I could stop being around the people I don't understand and who don't really understand me.
I don't like...

And just like a magic trick, my phone lights up and I see that my wife has texted me:
"i am so in love with everything you are. Even the parts you don't like. Every speck of you is my favorite."

I love those texts.
They don't make all the clouds go away.
But they do help me feel her hand wrap around mine and stay with me as it starts to rain.
And I know she's not going anywhere.
Not because she has to stay with me because it was in the vows.
Not because she's scared to get another divorce.
Not because I'm a major source of income for her.
None of that even comes to her mind.
She holds my hand
And doesn't leave me
Because she likes me
And she wants to hold my hand
And I don't know how I got so lucky that a woman like her wants to hold my hand
But I'm gonna hold that hand of hers
And I'm gonna enjoy it for all it's worth
And I'm gonna thank her when the rain is over
Thank her for staying with me
And let her know that if it ever rains where she is, I'll be holding her hand just like this
Because I like her
And I want to hold her hand.