The Burning and the Clamor

A house burned down.  The family that lived in the house got out before they were hurt.

Three reporters stood next to each other on the street and watched the house burn down.

Then they reported the story to the people who watched their news programs.

The first reporter said that a house had burned down.  Those were the facts.

The second reporter told a story about a poverty-stricken neighborhood where gangs are a way of life and violence is something to be accepted and feared.  Gangs, obviously, had burned down this house and something should be done about the violence in this neighborhood.

The third reporter told a story about how the political party in power had been lax in taking care of the police and fire departments in this neighborhood, placing families in jeopardy.  It was now up to us, the patriots, to vote against the current political party in the upcoming election if we were interested in taking care of the problems that exist in our world.

Preachers and religious leaders, who weren't there when the house burned down, saw these stories on the news.

Some preached about family values and how that had been lost.  If only our parents would keep their children more moral these problems wouldn't happen.

Some preached about how burning houses happened in the past when whites and blacks fought, and we need to be careful of the whites and the blacks, because they want to hurt each other.  And the Hispanics, too.  Maybe the Asians, too.  It's hard to tell from just a house fire which nationality you should be afraid of, but remember history teaches us that the other races will attack you and kill you.

Some preached about babies having babies, and if only this family had decided to get married the way god intended, this fire wouldn't have happened to them.  This fire was payment for their sins.

Citizens watched the news programs and listened to their religious leaders.  Each person, like each reporter, took away something different.  But all the citizens raised their voices.  "Something is wrong and I won't stand for it!" they all shouted. 

At this time, I turned to one of the shouting Citizens.
"Reminds me of the movie 'Network'."
"What?" said the Citizen, confused about being abruptly taken out of what was obviously a simple morality story and thrust into self-referential dialogue.
"You know, 'Network', the movie?"  The Citizen stared at me.
"'I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!'"  The Citizen stared at me.
"It was a movie back in the 70s... maybe 60s... but probably 70s.  It was an important work about the power of media and how a free press can be turned from a source of education into a profit machine that no longer takes care of those who consume it but, instead, actively destroy those who participate in it."  The Citizen stared at me.
"Nothing?"  A small, clear drip of drool plooped from The Citizen's agapeness.
"Good talk.  Let's get back to the morality story."
"I know, right?!" said The Citizen.

The politicians heard the citizens saying something was wrong, and they promised to fix the problems.  They promised to build better schools, and stop violence, and get rid of drugs, and make you drink more or less milk (depending on if milk was healthy or unhealthy on that particular day).  They promised to take care of our country while we got to sit back in bliss.  They promised us football on Sunday.  Then Monday.  Then Thursday, too.  Then there were three football games on Thanksgiving corresponding to the three daily meals most people eat, and pre- and post-game discussions.  There was talk about which politician had actually provided the best football game to his citizens, and what if Lincoln's football team could beat Nixon's hockey team, and you know the only reason why Kennedy beat Nixon was because of the television debates because Kennedy is cute and Nixon is a stroke victim, and did you know that Britney Spears thought we should do what George W. Bush told us to do?  I didn't know that, but I love her songs, especially the picture of her getting out of a car and I can see her vagina.  I know, right?!  I mean, come on people, that's obviously an invasion of her privates, but at the same time, I really like masturbating to that picture trying to imagine that maybe I could go into her vagina with some part of me.  Not because I think she's gorgeous, but because it would give me something to talk about.  How many people do you know who have put a part of themselves inside Britney Spears?  Ima blog about it.  But typing is so hard and i have to serch for the rite spellings n stuff so ima not capitolize shit n stuff n i don relly wanna no bout whats happening because i just wanna see the latest 6 sec video on vine, then branch will have a great 5 sec vid, then twig will have a great 4 sec vid, then nub will have the best 2 sec vid of all time n we'll all just live our lives in little 2 second bites and dam i gotta piss.


The Family watched their house burn down.  And the best that they could do was watch their house burn down, because behind them was a world screaming out of control about how horrible everything was.  And watching their house burn to the ground was much more peaceful than what was behind them. 

I hope The Family went to Best Western and got some Belgium waffles for breakfast.  Those things are good.